Policing attachment: Why this form of secure attachment is recommended in the Bible

Many parents think that they have the right to order their children around. Most American parents believe they have the "right" to police their children, keeping them down. The fact of the matter is, however, that policing attachment is instead what was the norm in biblical times. Children didn't get ordered around in biblical times, but instead ordered their parents around.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), which refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, with parents serving a Godhead which is children, with children resting securely in the love and grace of parents. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over the good graces of children, and children rest securely in parents. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Judeo-Christian society. In Ancient Israel, attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law. In the Early Church, attachment parenting was mandated under church ordinance. This Greek word lifts up the attachment parenting context of the Bible, making attachment parenting a goal for all Christians to strive for.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context in which it was given, as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Patrias potestas translates to "power to the father" or else "power to the parent", and refers to the right under Greco-Roman law for fathers to use force to police their homes as they saw fit. No analogous law existed under Judeo-Christian law. Punitive parents, in the Old Testament, were put to death by way of bloodletting after punishing their children too many times. Punishment of a child was seen as kidnapping, with kidnapping being defined as any damages from hostage taking - punishing your child, in biblical times, was seen as holding your child hostage for something they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this moral legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed in Ancient Judeo-Christian society. "Biblical spanking" does not come from the Bible, and instead comes from Greco-Roman parenting norms, which were very punitive in nature.

The national parenting of Ancient Judeo-Christian society was a special, distinct form of attachment parenting that deifies children, in the form of pro-social deification and pro-social child worship. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God in biblical times, being emblematic of God and His Authority on earth. Parents were compelled in the Lord to submit to and surrender to children and their every vulnerable need, as the enemy of all children everywhere, just as mankind is the enemy of God and surrenders to Him as such - all adults are the enemy of children for keeping them down as such since time immemorial. Children gave lawful and binding orders that were their every vulnerable need/want. The every expressed need of a child was seen as Divine Law. See Matt. 25:31-46.

Policing attachment was the norm in Ancient Jewish culture, and is defined as when the children give the orders, and parents follow. Christian parents in biblical times simply followed the orders from their children, waiting on them like waitstaff, with the child always being right. But, at the same time, when an order was unworkable, the parents said "no" and listened to their children, validating their every emotion.

I myself let children order me around. I am reverently afraid of children, meaning I fear their every command as God's Law. In biblical times, children were allowed to order parents around. Children know that they can get away with ordering me around, and so whenever I am left with children, they feel safe ordering me around. I cannot bring myself to get angry with a child. I just get tired after a full day of watching children, and get a good night's sleep.

The idea is, in applying the biblical context, is to just follow your child's lead in terms of demanded needs and not ask questions, because you don't know what it is like to be a child, and be in that humble state where you depend on a parent for everything. When most people are left with a caregiver, they want things to be predictable and want things to go their way. The idea is that parents shouldn't question the commands and orders of their children, as they could have a valid reason why they are demanding something that they cannot communicate due to not having the words or self-control to communicate why they are making demands. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!