Righteous enslavement of parents: Why parents are to obey children (not the other way around)

Many parents think their children should obey them. This is a common sentiment among American parents. Most American parents today are authoritative parents, which is a watered down form of authoritarian parenting that can possibly be even more harmful than traditional authoritarian parenting.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, with children being in place of God, and with parents expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents is not borne out of fearful compliance, but instead out of restful trust, with children feeling safe in confiding to parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Israel, and was mandated under customary law. That customary law, which mandates attachment parenting, is lifted up like this verse.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment, in both its linguistic and legal context, was understood as prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including punishment and controlling demeanor towards children. The Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law in order to rebuke Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Some Greek Christian parents misused the book of Proverbs even in the 1st Century in order to justify their punishment habits. Paul was explaining to these parents that they were missing the big picture - that parents are to love children as their neighbor, and not provoke them to anger. Paul was ultimately lifting up this Jewish commandment, and applying it to a Christian parenting context. The rod verses ultimately do not refer to parenting, but to a form of judicial corporal punishment known as the 40 minus 1 lashes. Fathers were appointed by the court to whip their own ADULT son in order to warn him that he would be executed on the spot if he didn't stop his criminal habits. Fathers had to be court ordered to whip their ADULT children, otherwise they wouldn't do it. MINOR children could not be charged with a criminal act or civil wrong, as they could not stand trial in their defense. Children could sue their parents in court as the plaintiff, but not defend themselves in court. Children were not seen as heeding to the Law, instead being seen as learning the Law, and were given a break by the religious authorities in both the Old and New Testaments.

Children in Ancient Israel and the Early Church were deified in how they were treated. Parents served children as extensions of God, revering and fearing them as such. Children were masters of their parents, and parents were slaves, and parents were expected to salute their master, meaning their child. Children were elevated as the highest form of mankind, exempt from all laws and criminal procedures, simply learning the Law, only expected to follow it all at a later date when ready.

Children in biblical times went naked wherever they went, and women also traditionally were naked in the family home, with women being unclothed in order to serve their husband and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of nourishment and sustenance, meaning breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy respectively. Children ranged beside their mother, and maybe clung to her, by day. By night, children slept next to mothers, with mother and child co-sleeping together, and children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness. 

Mothers were seen as the primary caregivers of children, and experts on parenting. But, ultimately, children enslaved both their parents and issued lawful and binding orders on parents, with parents serving the every want/need of a child, with the knowledge - even then - that wants and needs are intertwined. Parents were caregivers of children, not lawgivers or lawmakers. Mothers nurtured up close. Fathers also nurtured, but from afar, assuming formalities before the child invited them to casual interaction.

Ultimately, righteous enslavement revolves around the word "yes". Adults, especially parents, love to say "no" to children, but usually, there is a reason to say "yes" to children when they demand something. Children don't ask for much, usually. Maybe candy in the store, which costs about an extra dollar, maybe less. Why not just get them the candy and quit the arguing? So they ask for more? If they start asking for more, they feel safe around you. Children are flawed human beings, in a way that they cannot be expected to be grateful for everything all at once. They are grateful, but they show it in their own way by asking for more. Know that you as a parent are appreciated once they come all apart for you emotionally, because that is a child's way of baring their soul to you.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!