How to impart good Judeo-Christian family values - without punishment or harshness in parenting

Many conservative parents think that the anti-spanking movement opposes their values, and that the only way to pass down conservative Christian family values is to spank or punish children in some way. This is a common mistake parents make. Most American parents do not have leftist values, yet most Americans can impart Christian family values without punishing or being controlling with their child.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-references the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers, officially speaking, to wanting things from others, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, the word refers to the slightest of unattainable want. Children are watching, and so it is good to work on your entitlement issues, both as a parent and as a person in general. This includes entitlement issues towards your children, or parental entitlement. Ask, and you shall receive from your child, when they are developmentally ready. Demand, and you get nothing but resentment. It is also good not to think of yourself as a good person, particularly in parenting. The more you think of yourself as a good person, the more you demand from others, and demanding is a form of imposition, and when you impose a want like that, you are entitled. This attitude of Christian humility should be modeled to children.

On the other hand, Christian discipline is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline that admits its depraved and entitled sin nature, leading to feeling entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Children are not going to follow this example right way, as they are immature and impulsive, and can't be expected to have the same self-control as an adult. But, if YOU have self-control, and they like you, they will strive for it.

An example is useless if you don't back it up with something. We as a society have tried punitive measures, and it hasn't worked. Children have to want to follow the example of parents, and that means children have to look up to parents for an example to work. The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This usually meant rest in the bosom of mothers, or in the embrace of mothers. Mothers, in particular, in biblical times, provided nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The Ancient Jews, including the Early Christians, used a special type of attachment parenting that deified children. Rest meant, ultimately, rest on a throne, being fanned and pampered by parents. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, and the Early Church, mandated attachment parenting as customary law, with the commandment for attachment parenting being included in the church ordinance of the Early Christian church communities. This attachment parenting mandate in the biblical context is lifted up by this commandment.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to prohibit all forms of punishment and controlling demeanor towards children. Paul was lifting up the Law primarily for a few Greek Christian parents who were bringing their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Spanking and punishment of children does not come from the Bible, but from the Roman Catholic Church pandering to European pagan cultures who beat and whipped their children. The seven rod verses in the book of Proverbs are repealed verses, as they only are written only to the legal context that it was written to. Such verses do not even have to do with parenting, but instead refer to a form of judicial corporal punishment imposed on adults, with the father appointed by the court to issue 40 minus 1 lashes to an ADULT child. MINOR children were not whipped or punished at all, due to youthful inexperience.

The key to backing up your Christian example is a secure parent-child bond. It was practiced in biblical times by mothers especially, but also fathers to a certain degree. Children went naked everywhere they went. Mothers also went naked in the family home traditionally, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children with nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness (especially during co-sleeping). Children, by day, ranged next to mothers, sometimes clinging to them, feeding off their teat if they were aged 3 or younger. By night, children slept next to mothers, in co-sleeping fashion, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy.

Children were heavily deified in Ancient Israel and adjoining churches. Children were seen as extensions of God on earth, and their every cry and demand, meaning their every vulnerable need, was seen by biblical parents as a lawful and binding order, meaning a summonses from God as to what He needed from Christian parents to meet their child's every need. Children were a lawful authority in the family home, and called the shots, getting most of what they wanted. Children were pampered and doted upon by parents.

All of this warmth and love is what motivates children to follow the Christian example of parents. Every example needs to be backed up by something, and that something is attachment parenting. Attachment parenting makes the child want to follow your example, and makes them want to look up to you. The more a child likes an adult role model, the more they will take after that role model. When children can order a parent around, they naturally want to follow the example of such a generous parent. Children naturally absorb what is in their environment, including, especially, the behavior of their parents. If the values in their environment are Judeo-Christian family values, they will absorb them. They may not be able to heed to them easily right away, especially in the first few years, but by young adulthood, they should be able to follow your example.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!