What to do about crying behavior

Many parents think crying is a "bad" behavior. This is a common misunderstanding of children, fueled by false Christian doctrine that shames children and commands the punishment of children. The fact of the matter is that all children cry for one reason - they need love.

In an attached Christian parenting relationship, the centerpiece of it all is Christian love, and is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). This refers to Christian Agape love for children, and involves prioritizing children first, and yourself as the parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children telling parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Children, in this loving and affirming environment, eventually take after a parent, wanting to be like them, then following their example. However, this doesn't happen overnight. Children behave in a childish manner that understandable given their age and developmental level. Children will try to follow the example of parents from early on, but will be compromised by poor impulse control inherent of childhood immaturity. Only when they are young adults will they perfect the skill of following the example of parents. as a way to give back to parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, are defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul is lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin were misusing the book of Proverbs in order to justify their punishment habits even in the 1st Century, when this passage was written. Paul was warning parents that Proverbs is simply wisdom literature - a list of wise sayings - and not a parenting manual. The rod verses in Proverbs - all seven of them - do not refer to raising children. They refer to an ancient, archaic legal practice within Judaism where a father was subpoenaed by the court (usually against his will) to issue 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a last warning before putting an ADULT child to death for re-offending. The verses were mistranslated as just "child" when translated into the Latin by the Roman Catholic Church to appease the cultural norms of European pagans who beat their children in order to discipline them.

Crying was dealt with in biblical times as a means of communicating - meaning a cry from a child was seen as wanting love, in a way that couldn't be denied. Mothers held crying children up to their bosom, and reassured the child of their presence (ex. "I'm here to listen"). 

A time-in is different than time-out. A time-out is exclusionary to the child's feelings, whereas time-in includes the child and allows for the child to express his/her feelings with the parent. Time-in is basically holding your child close and reassuring them when they are crying and/or having a meltdown/ The biblical way to do this is by holding your child to your bosom if you are their mother. If you are their father, and they are age 3 and under, cradle them in your arms. If they are age 4 and up, hold them over your shoulder. Some children do not like physical affection, and so you leave them be free range - such children will usually seek solitude for comfort. Crying is normal childhood behavior, and when they cry, they just want love.

Children in biblical times did not leave the side of their mothers until age 6. Children went naked wherever they went, and women traditionally went naked in order to serve their husband and their children. Children were close to mothers physically, snuggling next to them in skin-to-skin closeness, with them ranging next to mothers, and being held to her bosom when they cried. From there, the child usually told the mother what they needed. When a child just gives you a big hug, they likely just wanted attention. Attention is an attachment need, and is a core need of any child. Biblical times were attachment parenting times...The context herein may appear dated, but can be practiced today, perhaps with some tweaking.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!