Lying: Why children lie to parents

Many parents believe their children lie because "that's just what children do". This is a common oversimplification and misconception about children. The fact of the matter is that people lie and deceive when they are being punished.

Christian love is the centerpiece of a Christian parenting relationship, and is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to putting children first, and parents last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children and others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents in Christian homes does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children telling parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Children are honest with parents who don't punish at all.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, including child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek descent were justifying the punishment of their children with the book of Proverbs even then. Paul here was warning Greek Christian parents that Proverbs was simply wisdom literature, not a book about raising children. Paul himself was anti-spanking, and opposed punishing a child for any reason. Spanking and punishment of children does not come from the Bible, but from European pagan custom absorbed into the Roman Catholic Church, and then Christianity in general. Roman law allowed for a defense for physically punishing children, whereas Jewish and Christian law had no defense for minor children, with punitive parents being seen as worthy of death in the Old Testament, and worthy of excommunication in the Early Church.

Children lie for a simple reason - they don't want to be caught. So, why make instructing children about catching them doing things wrong? The idea is to form a secure parent-child bond that allows for transparency and honesty, where a child can casually admit to doing something wrong, or else having a misunderstood trait such as being a pedophile, and have no consequences coming to them. Then you will get more, and more, out of your child, hearing every little detail about their day.

Children, when they are allowed to be honest with parents, and have no punishment or consequence coming to them, should admit everything casually, in a tone-deaf manner, admitting to doing things wrong without even realizing that they are admitting to it, and parents should NEVER punish for this, but instead reward honesty (meaning NOT the behavior). Ideally, a child should be able to be honest with a parent to the level of free association of thoughts.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!