"Honor parents": The contextual understanding of the Fifth Commandment

Many parents use the Fifth Commandment as a threat to get children to listen, saying "honor your father and mother" as a fake lawful order towards their children. Most parents do not understand what the Fifth Commandment means, or they wouldn't be reciting it to children.

The Fifth Commandment states in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land in which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 

This commandment precedes the legislation of other parent protection laws. The societal problem then, in terms of abuse, was elder abuse. Elder abuse was, in fact, the most stigmatized of all forms of abuse. A parent in Ancient Jewish culture was considered vulnerable, in a heroic way that was selfless in nature. Parents were expected to just "shut up and take it" because "the child must have learned it from somewhere". It was already illegal to strike a parent, but only as a civil wrong, if you were an adult child. God ordained the Law in terms of not striking parents, as well as the law of "do not curse parents" which means do not gaslight parents to get your own way from them, meaning gaslighting curses were banned on parents. It was heavily ingrained in society then that parents were supposed to be selfless, and most parents didn't get abused in fact, and so even fellow parents would have blamed the victim for "not being selfless enough" with their children. Only the Fifth Commandment itself is universally binding on gentile Christians. The rest of the parent protection laws were repealed by Christ on the cross.

The centerpiece of a Christian parenting relationship is Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), which is putting children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This refers to a child feeling safe and secure in parents, enough to tell parents anything and everything under the sun, including admissions of wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment in return. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times, with children going naked wherever they went, and this leading to the level of attachment in Christian homes in biblical times being at equality, with parents relating to children as equals, especially mothers. Mothers snuggled with their children in the nude, with the mother herself being naked in that context, engaging in skin-to-skin closeness with their children. Children were wrapped up next to mothers in swaddling blankets until age 6, when they asserted their independence gradually, then becoming adults at around the onset of puberty.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. This refers to the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking a group of Greek Christians who held onto their pagan custom of spanking children for impurity, with these Greek Christians misusing the book of Proverbs even then for purposes of supporting the punishment of children. The Apostle Paul was simply saying that Proverbs is wisdom literature, and doesn't contain any parenting commands. Paul was anti-spanking and opposed any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. 

Mothers and fathers took different roles in the life of a child. Mothers took on the role of providing nourishment and sustenance, meaning breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy with one's child respectively. Children in biblical times went naked everywhere they went, and mothers were traditionally naked in the home, and so mothers and children snuggled together, in complete and total closeness and bliss. Fathers were a bit more distant, in a reel in type way, meaning children reeled fathers in to hang out or compare theologies. Fathers did not speak to children unless spoken to, and only to the degree the child wanted to interact, allowing the child to "break the ice" into informal discussion. Fathers had a parent attraction to their children, on the level of "sun tan spray", but it was abstinent, as the Law prohibited child sexual abuse, and it was seen as wicked and evil by society then. Fathers instead put their children on a pedestal, deifying them in a sexualized manner, figuratively referring to daughters in particular as goddesses, and sons as gods, with the goal being to keep them happy and appeased so they don't lash out at parents.

The Fifth Commandment, for a child, refers to the dynamic of a secure parent-child bond. The parent works, and the child rests. Children rest in parents by feeling safe and secure with parents. This means FEELING safe with parents, not merely BEING safe. Most children in biblical times felt safe by being held close to the bosom of mothers, and being breastfed until age 3 at the most. Children up until age 6 did not leave the side of mothers, and children older than that clung to mothers at night until they shook parents off completely, asserting their independence. Children do not have to worry about the lawful authority of parents until after leaving the house, and even then, they have lawful and binding authority over their parents in return, and can charge for any resentment, including past abuse.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplice! Let them descend into the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!