Why children don't need rules

Many parents think that it is commonsense that children need rules, and cite Scripture as an excuse. This is a common misconception about children. Children do not need rules. They may need some boundaries set a few times along the way, but most of the time, children aren't being bad, but simply are being children.

The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific Christian standard of discipline in parents in relation to children, namely one that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, especially from children. Children owe parents nothing, and parents owe children everything, with this leading to a chastened up example for children to follow, backed up by instruction to children as a righteous test, meaning if children didn't listen the first time, it was assumed that the child could not understand the instructions given, and then the goal was simply to keep the child safe, including by way of logical consequences, with this form of instruction in parenting denoted by the Greek root word νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to righteous instruction and righteous test of children. This is all weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" which is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. This refers to the slightest of personal offenses perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law about punishment and other controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christians who had a punishment habit towards their children. Punishing and being controlling towards children was dealt with severely then, in both the Old and New Testaments, and was seen as deserving of death in the Old Testament. In the Early Christian church communities, it was seen as a church-wide offense worthy of excommunication, which then was a fate next to death. The seven verses in Proverbs that depict the rod of correction are repealed verses, meaning they are only relevant to the context in which they are given. This is because they refer not to spanking children, but to a dated form of judicial corporal punishment closely conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, administered to the bare back of an ADULT child, as a last warning before being put to death, after a criminal conviction in a court of law. MINOR children could not legally be whipped for a moral crime they committed, as children under the age of majority could not stand trial for criminal acts or civil wrongs that they committed. Apart from wife-spanking as a form of consensual accountability in the rare household, corporal punishment was not practiced as law enforcement in Christian churches in the 1st Century, and capital punishment was not practiced at all. Most Christian men did not strike their wives except on rare occasions when she submitted to it, and even then, she was usually forgiven and not spanked.

Children can be invited to follow the example of their parents by way of Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to being convicted of one's child's needs, putting children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, leading to children resting safely and securely in parents. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and in vs. 1 refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This is not a respect based off of fear and compliance, but instead is a restful form of surrender in the loving arms of parents. Parents in biblical times were seen as servants of God, with parents not being authority figures, with children being in place of God. Parents were seen merely as tools for the use of children, like milking-objects to be milked by children. Parents were seen then merely as bondservants that were righteously enslaved to children and their every need. Attachment parenting was the norm in both Ancient Israel and the Early Church, and the established norm at that. Think a Christian mother holding pales of water, with a young child wrapped up in her bosom in swaddling blankets, and an older child in a papoose bag strapped to the back of her mother, completely naked as the day she was born, with both children vulnerable to the care of their mothers. Boil over, then safe. That is how parenting was in biblical times.

Parents, mothers and fathers both, took different roles in biblical times. Mothers provided nourishment and sustenance, meaning breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy respectively. Children went naked wherever they went, but children up until age 6 did not leave the side of mothers, sleeping next to them with the mother naked also, with the children co-sleeping with mother in skin-to-skin warmth and closeness. The nudity of the children brought the level of attachment to equal level, with parents "growing up with" their children. Fathers were more passive around children, shy like a human ragdoll around them, with children showing fathers the sights. Fathers had a connotational parent attraction to their children, but not a driven one most times. Mothers guarded their children from their father's possible advances, and decent fathers abstained from sexually abusing their children, with that act still being seen as vile and wicked even though most fathers were attracted to their children. Instead, fathers in particular put children on a pedestal, speaking of them in flowery, baroque language, boasting about their friendship with their children - and that's all it was. Fathers and children were best friends that hung out together, whereas mothers did most of the providing of basic needs. Children were always supervised by at least one adult, loosely, while giving children freedom to either play with siblings and other friends, or else cling to parents in intimate closeness. Most children under age 6 chose closeness with parents, with older children alternating between the two options.

Children don't need rules. Most behaviors that children are punished for are developmentally appropriate behaviors, meaning behaviors understandable given their age and development. Most behaviors that annoy parents, but not the child or anyone else, are phases, meaning a child will not act out like they do at age 3 once they are at age 13. For example, crying is a normal behavior between the ages of 0-6, and after that, children start whining for the same reason - they have a need. The idea is to respond to both behaviors with empathy, stifling your own sinful urge to control the child and the situation. Other behaviors, such as playful screaming, need no response. Children are going to run around the house, maybe knocking things over, and if you allow home to be the safe place to do so, they will run around the store less and tether next to you, holding your hand when in public. Just let a lot of problematic behaviors such as exploring the house, making messes, and causing mischief, as children grow out of these behaviors. Children should always be supervised by an adult at all times.

Children grow out of hyperactive and energetic behaviors quicker when they have a strong, disciplined example from a parent for them to look up to, and take up a vocation to be like. As children get older, they turn out as either like their mother or their father, with boys learning how to handle anger from their father, and girls learning how to handle anger from their mothers. The idea is to discipline yourself like the young adult you want to raise and be proud of, and then form a secure parent-child bond with your children. Eventually, but not right away, children will keep practicing to be like the preferred parent, and then eventually succeed at taken after them. 

It is recommended that parents stifle parent anger and attraction both, and channel the latter towards private sexual fantasy AWAY from children, with the door closed and the shades down. Anger can be centered into a bowl, with parents knowing that they are entitled to nothing from their child or anyone else in the picture, and are to be grateful for the child they already have. This will lead to a bowl of anger that otherwise is calm and disciplined in nature. Children will naturally take after this form of Christian discipline by following their parents' lead and example. When you stifle parent anger enough, the anger you have as a parent towards your child simmers away into nothingness, meaning it ceases to exist apart from ability to calmly and politely set limits on occasion. When children don't understand those limits the first time, they aren't being defiant - they just don't understand, meaning they don't have the inertia to put it into action, and so we excuse it and focus on keeping them safe. Children should only be admonished when they are causing an unsafe situation or when they ask for something that is completely unattainable and/or unsafe.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let the descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!