Locational acclimation: Understanding where sexual abuse comes from

The mainstream children's rights stance is that child molesters have a peacekeeper, and then they eject it onto their child victim. I, as a pedophile survivor, differ from most trauma survivors about where the abuse came from. What is the root cause of child sexual abuse? Location, location, location.

The common argument against my belief in where child sexual abuse comes from is the entitled excuse "I was caught up in the wrong place, in the wrong time". So, why were you even there? Why were you alone with that child you victimized? Why were you drunk off your rear end while we are at it? Why do you choose to repress your sexuality with abusive religious teachings? These are all factors, but the main factor is location, coupled with either hyperarousal or repression in terms of sexual expression.

Child sexual abuse comes from the same parental entitlement that all other child abuse comes from, but with a more locational bias to the expression of the adult sexual entitlement. It all comes down to if you want to abuse a child or whether you don't. Most pedophiles hate the idea of hurting a child for any reason, in a sensitive, caring type of way. Some pedophiles are more conflicted, and may draw the line at abuse in an oblong way, or not at all, thinking with their penis and not with their brain. If you are so motivated to sexually abuse a child, you will find opportunities in society, and society does offer them. Usually, it is either at bathtime or when children are dressing, and it is usually a parent-figure abusing the child. The average pedophile simply maps out all the opportunities where sexual abuse can occur from them, and then avoid all the pinpointed areas where abuse could occur, usually by coming up with an excuse for not allowing themselves to be alone with an attraction to children, meaning a white lie. I myself can see into a house, see all the opportunities, and know which rooms to avoid if I ever have to visit.

I myself was one of those conflicted pedophiles, meaning I drew the line at touching a child for sexual reasons, as I was an older adolescent when the child abuse habit started, appointing me as the adult in those instances. It started with asking a 9-year-old girl out on a date, and then flirting and waving to her. I then got acclimated to waving to and flirting with other girls. It is abuse simply because of it violating sexual taboos that this country was founded on. I wanted a sleepover with this 9-10 year old girl, and if I would have been allowed that, I would have snuck into her bed, maybe, and snuggled with her. That was the dream.

The reason I did it was that I perceived attraction in one child, which opened the door to cross boundaries and pester other children. We could blame the victims for possibly allowing things, or we could blame ME for choosing to be stupid enough to ask a 9-year-old girl for her phone number. I also rationalized that she was 12, in which case it would be legal, and did not ask her age until she invited me to play a game. Too late. After that, I was obsessed. 

I slowly practiced not acting that way by simply electing to choose not to act that way, and making that the habit instead. I imposed restriction upon restriction on myself, and then that turned into religious belief. My current restrictions are speech-based, meaning I am not to speak to a child except when they allow me to speak to them, meaning when they make the first move in a conversation. I then channeled all of the inordinate affections to an ordinate location, meaning solo masturbation. Currently, I am more attracted to children away from them rather than when I am around them, meaning I am more attracted to them in the fantasy than in real life. In real life, I am more like a parent in how I view them, liking being around them like any adult who loves children would feel.

My theology is that simple fantasy about children is perfectly okay, and even encouraged. Adult sexual entitlement is denoted by the Greek root word translated "inordinate affections" in Col. 3:5-7, and commonly referring to "lust" in the English translations, is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers to seeking to take the first steps to sexually abuse a child. This would mean not masturbation, but rationalizing that sexual behavior with a child would be acceptable. When this entitlement imposes on the child, it is fornication, as referenced in the New Testament by the Greek root word πορνεία (Latin: porneia). Most pedophiles engage in sexual fantasy and focus on it to keep their mind off of molesting an actual child, and it works wonders in retraining your brain from needing an actual child to have sex with. An abuser generally opposes masturbation and sexual fantasy, as they yearn to get the opportunity to do something with a real child, at some level. A good segment of adults are actually like this, usually men with teenage girls, and they rarely are pedophiles. Sexual attraction to children is normal already, but isn't discussed. Pedophilia is normal in the pathological sense, meaning being mentally ill is normal, and preferring fantasies about children is a form of mental illness in that right. Just keep it a fantasy, and don't act on it - that's what my mother reminds me, and those are my values as well.

Who is at fault for the sexual abuse epidemic? Every single adult, either for acting on sexual inclinations towards children or for being capable of such, which every single adult is capable, under the right/wrong conditions. An adult either yearns for the opportunity to have sex with a child, or else represses it, and then bites off more than they can chew in terms of getting into a situation they can't get out of without help. Pedophiles have very little to do with this, except that they are less likely to sexually abuse a child than a non-pedophiles. 3 out of 4 pedophiles are not sexual abusers of children, and most support youth rights. Think the eccentric schoolteacher, or the technical computer geek - those would be the main profiles of pedophiles, meaning the circles they find shelter from persecution in. Most pedophiles are not narcissistic, but eccentric, and their eccentric traits are child-centered, meaning their whole life becomes children, but not once do they abuse children like the non-pedophiles do, because a pedophile is generally a children's rights adult who relates to children at their level. All adults are capable of sexually abusing a child, if the conditions are right, meaning wrong, as all adults have a sexual instinct attached to their parent. 

The key is to accept a parent attraction to your own child, meaning allow yourself to feel it, and feel better about it in your own skin. When you feel your attraction to children, you can do the mental work to control it quite easily. I myself wear my pedophilia on the surface, so high that others can see it sometimes, but in a way that they just take note. I am in control of where sexual desire goes, and my pedophilia does not rule me. All adults, but especially men, should be aware of their sexual desires for children, and should have no shame in having them. Shame should be for those who actually choose to abuse a child sexually or otherwise, not those who simply have unfair sexual thoughts for their child or another adult's child.

Let the depraved and defiled adult fornicators of children BURN in everlasting Hell-fire! Repent!