Why children don't need discipline (parents do)

Many parents think that their child needs discipline, and that every child needs discipline. This is a common misconception about child behavior. Children need a good example for them to strive to emulate. 

The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise: That it may be well with thee, and that it may be well with thee. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a certain Christian standard of discipline in parents in relation to children, namely one that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, especially from children. Children owe nothing in relation to children, and parents owe everything to children, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or anyone else. Parents endure the chastening of the Lord through embarking on their parental duties, and this chastens them up as a good example to follow, backed up by limits and boundaries as a righteous test - if the child doesn't follow instructions, it is assumed that they cannot possibly follow said instructions due to their age and developmental level, as denoted by the Greek root word νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to instructions to children as a form of righteous test, meaning advice and guidance instead of lawful orders. This is all weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" which is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and is one of the Greek words that refers to the damages system, meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. The Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law on punishing children, which was a pagan custom that many Greek Christians held onto. Under the Law, punishing children carried severe penalties, namely death by way of chenek (bloodletting, or hanging entitled parents like poultry), with this punishment being replaced in the Early Church - where participation in capital punishment was abolished - with excommunication of the punitive, entitled parents, and all those who defended them in court. All of the verses in the Bible mentioning the rod reference not spanking but a dated form of judicial corporal punishment closely conflated with the death penalty in ancient Israel - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. This punishment was only relevant in the Old Testament, and only for ADULT children. The Early Christians shunned the death penalty under Roman law, and they also shunned any corporal punishment as a sentence for a moral crime. Sometimes, once in a blue moon, a woman submitted to a spanking willingly from her husband for adultery, but that was it, and usually, even then, the husband forgave her instead of striking out, as a man then was to be steadfast in his emotions so not to strike out at anybody. That meant that children were not punished for anything, as punishment was a legal ramification, and children were simply learning the Law, whereas punishment required foreknowledge of wrongdoing that a child was assumed not to have under the Law.

How do we get children to take up the example of their parents? Parents are to esteem their children above all else, putting children first, and parents last, leading to dutiful and selfless submission to the every need of children, with children resting safely and securely in the love and grace of parents, with this being denoted in vs. 1 by the Greek root word υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo), which refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, with parents being attendant caregivers, and with parents being a safe place for the every emotion, upset, or frustration of children. It is rest in the good works of parents, owing nothing in return. However, as children grow older, they take up the example of parents, and want to be like parents.

Children should be allowed to develop at their own accord, on their terms, with minimal adult interference, with said interference being only to keep them safe. Children in ancient Israel and the Early Church both were allowed to play freely, with supervision, as they got older. Children up to age 6 were in complete, intense closeness with mothers. Older children alternated between closeness with parents and free play. To give you an idea of how free the play was, most of it carried sexual undertones, with the most overt game being "marriage". To put things into perspective, children went naked everywhere they went in the biblical context, and the marriage contract was to be signed by way of sexual intercourse. Most children embraced, but every once and a while, a mischevious boy sought to "poke a hole" in his sister or female cousin, and at that point, the two were separated as a preventative measure. Neither were punished or shamed, and parents were very tactful in terms of not causing any trauma in explaining proper boundaries. If the child didn't get it beyond that point, both were kept safe and separate whenever they met. This goes to show how children were raised in biblical times - free, but with supervision, and that is the moral of the story for today. 

Children don't learn by imposed structure, but by absorbing knowledge and wisdom from the environment around them, meaning children need at least one good adult to look up to and emulate. Parents are to impart the Living Example of Christ, meaning a charitable, disciplined example that imparts onto children these values, with children treated with the same charitable love that parents wish for them to treat others with, while modeling the necessary disciplined and chastened up example to encourage the child to take up their own vocation in terms of self-discipline and self-control. Changes in terms of self-discipline and self-control should be met with praise and encouragement. We don't need punishment to pass down traditions. Whatever traditions exist in the child's environment will be what they will take up as their own, once they mature and become adults. 

Most childish behaviors that children exhibit are phases, meaning they grow out of them. So they go through screaming fits in the store? That's a developmentally appropriate behavior, and so it should be let go, alongside crying in young children, and whining in older children. What to look for is if a child does not grow out of a certain phase. Become acquainted with child development and the stages contained therein, and know that when a child is stuck at a certain phase, that could be a sign of a developmental disability or disorder of some sort. This includes sexual development, with autopedophilia and pedophilia being arrested sexual development expressed in different forms.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is ever-burning Hell and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!