Respect in parenting: Why parents must prove themselves to their children

Many parents believe they are deserving of and entitled to respect, pointing the finger at themselves, demanding respect before it is earned. Children should respect their parents. However, the burden of proof is on the parents to show respect to their children and earn respect in return.

Every single parent and adult is guilty in relation to children, and are deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for existing in relation to children, being meek and shamefaced in relation to children, being shut up in the Lord, only speaking to children at their cue and consent. Parents especially are to esteem their children above all else, putting children first, and parents last, leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the love and grace of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, with parents being attendant caregivers of children, with children owing nothing in return for their parents' love and care. This is a form of rest that leads to trust, and then to secure attachment, and then to emulating the example of parents. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times. Think a mother holding pales of water, with a young child wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, with another older child, in the nude, in tow next to her mother. That was the reality of parenting in the Bible.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages, meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or words. This commandment forbids the act of striking a child entirely. The Apostle Paul here was lifting up the Law to Greek Christians who insisted on their custom of spanking children. The punishment of children, at all, carried severe penalties under the Law, with offenses against children incurring bloodlust and seen as deserving of death, even if Christ pardoned it on the cross. The seven rod verses in Proverbs refer not to spanking, but to a dated form of judicial corporal punishment closely associated with the death penalty - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, intended to save an ADULT son from death, meaning a last warning before the offender was put to death. Spanking does not come from the Bible, but from Greco-Roman parenting norms, which were very punitive in nature. Roman law allowed for a legal defense to punish children, whereas Jewish and Christian law did not.

Parents must prove themselves in respect for children, meaning in order to get respect from your child, parents must show that they are deserving of respect. Respect for parents, coming from children, is not a reverent or fearful obedience to parents, but the kind of respect where you feel safe telling parents anything and everything under the sun, and then parents respect you for it later. It is the ability to be candid and honest with parents, not fearing them one bit. Reverent respect is the role of parents, not children, with parents reverently fearing their children, shaking and quaking in the wake of their child.

Respect, meaning listening and cooperation, doesn't come until later, namely when the child becomes an adult. Until then, children are going to have childish behaviors, but these can be understood as phases. Children develop at different stages of development, and each child develops differently. Giving instructions should be a righteous test, not a mandate, meaning children, when told to do something, shouldn't be expected to follow the directions given, and when they don't, it should be assumed that they didn't know or understand what the direction entails. A child that doesn't get an instruction won't get it after punishment. Children should be able to develop as is.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!