Respect in parenting: Why the burden of proof is on parents

Many parents believe that they deserve respect, and that if children don't respect them, they are in violation of one of the Ten Commandments. The fact of the matter is that the burden of proof in terms of respect for children is on parents, not children.

Every single parent and adult is guilty in relation to children, and is deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION in relation to children, with parents/adults being meek and shamefaced in relation to children. Parents especially are to prioritize their child above themselves, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting in the love and grace of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Fifth Commandment simply holds that children rest in the loving arms of parents. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, trusting in parents, feeling safe in their loving arms, owing nothing in return to parents for their good works. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times. Think a Christian mother holding pales of water, with her young child wrapped up in her bosom, in swaddling blankets, with a nude older child in tow. The main form of secure attachment in biblical times was policing attachment, meaning children in ancient Israel and adjoining churches were very demanding, and ordered their parents around, with parents giving in and giving up regarding their child's demands on them.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages, meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or contact. The commandment in vs. 21 references the offenses system in the Bible, and prohibits punishment and control in parenting such as spanking and corporal punishment. The concept of spanking a child does not come from the Bible, but Hellenistic tradition as a form of purification for sexually "unchaste" children that a few Greek Christians brought into the Colossian church. The seven verses in Proverbs that depict the rod of correction are repealed verses, meaning they only apply to the legal context of the time as a dated legal punishment for ADULT children - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. No child could ever be charged for any criminal act or civil wrong, with parents having to apologize for them in court.

In the Apostle Paul's secular writings accompanying the Epistle to the Colossians, Paul likened respect for parents as like a mirror, with the child being the mirror staring into the parent's face. Thus, whatever respect you give to your child is what you can expect to receive, and if you aren't being respected, you must be doing something wrong. As an adult, I respect my mother to the degree that she respects me, which is a high amount of respect, but when she is refusing to understand a situation I am in, I don't have to be nice to her, meaning I can tell her off and reverse gaslight to get my needs met when she doesn't understand the gravity of a situation, usually in the context of gaslighting.

The Apostle Paul wrote the passage in Colossians 3:20-21 from prison, as Christians were persecuted even then (perhaps if only for the fact that they were attachment parents), and Paul taught that children are like mirrors into our own soul, as they imitate what kind of person you are, often in a convicting way. A Christian parent then would likely look into their child's behavior, see themselves, and correct their own behavior. The goal in parenting then was not to get children to respect you, but to not pass down your sinful habits to your children, and work on them in yourself as soon as your children are old enough to pick up on those habits. It is teaching by example, imparting the Living Example of Christ to children, striving to be like Christ as a flawed human being, then modeling that model of perfection to children. In a true Christian parent, the struggle is from within, as it appears to your child, and so struggle with yourself from within, so that your child picks up on how to struggle against their own sins.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!