Temper tantrums: Why they aren't bad behavior

Many parents want children to "be seen as not heard". This often leads to children being punished for throwing temper tantrums. All children throw tantrums, and thus this is normal behavior for children. Temper tantrums are not bad behavior, but understandable behavior.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to trust in parents. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you get a roughly better conclusion. However, this trust is a special kind of trust borne out of maternal warmth and sustenance. This is an open, honest trust where children can confide into parents everything, and expect no punishment or reprisal in return. If a child really trusts you, they will show you their emotional side, and they will tantrum for you, and expect you to listen to them reflectively. Children went in the nude until adulthood in biblical times, and that was so mothers could co-sleep next to them in skin-to-skin closeness. This sort of closeness can be used to reassure a crying baby/child.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to provocations to anger, meaning all offenses against a child, with "offense" being defined as the slightest of offense perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This was intended by the Apostle Paul to include any sort of punishment or control in parenting, meaning any punitive parenting, including spanking and corporal punishment. Paul was writing to Greek Christian parents who supported the Hellenistic tradition of spanking children. The corporal punishment of a child was legally defensible under Roman law, but not Jewish law. Paul would have none of that "tradition' in the churches he oversaw as a deacon. He delivered this command from prison alongside attachment parenting advice in the form of parenting manuals. Children were to rarely hear the word "no", and when they did, they had to be reassured. This was to show lack of intent to offend the child, and when there is no intent to offend a child, there is no offense to the child, but in order to show non-offending intent towards a child, you need to show it in your actions towards them. Entitled intent in and of itself could be prosecuted, but simple theft or offense could not be prosecuted without entitlement being a factor. The idea is to listen to your child's tears of grief and console your child by saying "I am here", disproving intent to abuse or offend in a divine court of law.

Temper tantrums were seen in biblical times as a baby crying for love. The cries of children were listened to in the rare case that a want was declined. Most of the time, children got what they wanted in biblical times, but depending on their class in society, some poorer children might have heard "no" more than others, but still not that often. The word "no" is to be wielded rarely, as the Greek root word νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) implies in Eph. 6:4, meaning the word "no" is rare and preferably agreed-upon. Crying to parents should feel like going to confession for a child, meaning parents should be the confessor in that regard for children, with children tearing up about, perhaps, things at school they did that they regret.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss that is the Hell of fire and torment, enduring God's Wrath for all eternity! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!