Strictness and discipline: Why parents should be strict with themselves (and not with children)

Many people, when they think of parenting, think of discipline, and see it as the focal part of raising children. However, is discipline for children even the right way to go as a parent? No. Discipline yourself as a parent before pointing the finger.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; That is may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" and the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a certain standard of Christian discipline in parents, stemming from the attitude that parents are entitled to nothing in relation to a child, and grateful for everything from a child, with this being the Living Example of Christ. Children owe nothing to their parents, and parents owe everything, with this attitude leading to a chastened up example in relation to children. This is backed up by a rare verbal warning that is agreed-upon, usually involving the word "no" or its various variants in most cases, not backed up by punishment, as denoted by the Greek root word translated νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia). To be clear, this word does not refer to any form of punishment of a child. Both these Greek root words refer to states of a parent, with the primary state being discipline and chastisement in parents to model to children. This is all weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to provocations to anger imposed upon children, meaning any and all offenses against children, as defined as the slightest of personal slights perceived by a child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to prohibit all punitive parenting, including all punishment and control in parenting. A few of the Greek Christians in the Early Christian churches held onto the pagan custom of spanking children. Roman law gave a legal defense for punishing children, whereas Jewish law did not allow for such a defense, and saw spanking and punishing children as kidnapping. Kidnapping was punished by bloodletting after the abuser of children received 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction - the same rod of correction mentioned in Prov. 13:24 and other "rod verses". The original Hebrew refers to an ADULT child, which would have been more in line with Jewish tradition.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure trust in parents. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you come to a roughly better translation. This is a special kind of trust, borne out of maternal warmth and sustenance. Parentis in biblical times used attachment parenting to gain cooperation from their children. Children were wrapped up next to their mothers in swaddling bands, sleeping next to their mothers until adulthood, with children being weaned at around age 3. Children in biblical times demanded thing from parents, and parents supplied the needs. Children petitioned for a redress of grievances, and parents heard out the complaints, and usually heeded them blindly. Children were seen as vulnerable yet convicting extensions of God by ancient Hebrew and Christian society.

Discipline is a good skill to have in life. How do you teach it in children? Be strict with yourself as a parent, not with your child, in a way that sets a good Christian example for your children. Strictness and discipline are good things, but not when imposed on a child. Impose such attitudes on yourself first, then children will follow in your footsteps. If you don't want your child to grow up thinking it is okay to impose wants and entitlement on others, don't do that to them. Don't do that to anybody around them. You are entitled to nothing from children, and grateful for everything given to you by them. Don't push it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices, which is Satan's tomb! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!