Passing down traditions: How to do so the right way with children

Many parents do not like the children's rights community here in the United States due to the hatred of tradition among many of our members and advocates. Traditions are often cited as a reason to keep traditions. You can teach any values system with attachment parenting (AP), which was the traditional form of parenting in ancient Israel and adjoining cultures.

Traditions are best taught by example, not punishment. Most children who are punished reject the traditions of their parents and community, at least initially. Traditions, in and of themselves, aren't bad, but how we hand them down. I myself am one to be very traditional, yet I support the anti-spanking movement. The traditions I wanted to keep as a child weren't the ones I was punished for "refusing" (I never refused to celebrate Christmas or Easter, hence no punishment). The doctrine of mutual submission states in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a non-entitled example for children, meaning that parents are entitled to nothing from children, and are to be grateful for the every joy their child brings them. This ultimately refers to modeling church traditions and other traditions. This involved a special Socratic method of communication that was exemplary in nature. The young child was exposed to the tradition by adults practicing it around them, with the hope that the child will say "can I join in?". The conversational format is question and answer. You can impart any tradition or teaching this way, and you don't need to punish the child. You don't drag a child anywhere. THEY drag YOU to what they need, when they need it. Invite your child to your Christmas traditions, or other family or community traditions that you may have. Sometimes, a child is too young to understand what a tradition means, in which case they can be righteously exempt. A 2-year-old is just a baby, and may not understand certain Christmas traditions yet. Most children do quite understand gift giving, but at a shallow level that fits into their materialistic nature, which they can be expected to expand upon on their own once they grow in spirit.

Traditions need to sound inviting to children, like selling a product. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest and trust in Lord Jesus Christ. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you get a roughly better translation. This sort of trust in parents is warm and maternal in nature, but in a sustaining way. Parents were to be their child's best friend in biblical times, to the level of co-sleeping into adulthood, with children up until age 3 being treated as infants behaviorally. This commandment refers to a specific type of child surrender that is trusting in nature, where children tell parents anything and everything under the sun that is on their mind, not caring about formalities when speaking to parents, not mincing words, not fearing any punishment or reprisal. Having a good relationship with your child will make them want to follow your traditions. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and literally translates to "bitter anger" and refers to provocations to anger imposed upon children, meaning offenses against children, with this being defined as the slightest of personal offenses perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to prohibit all punishment and control in parenting, including corporal punishment. Spanking does not come from the book of Proverbs, but is an idolatrous, pagan tradition absorbed into the church by Roman Catholic teaching. Corporal punishment existed in the Old Testament only, and only as a form of judicial corporal punishment, meaning it was the Israelite state being the party ultimately doing the whipping, with the father or other elder appointed as an accessory to assist the Israelite state in enforcing law and order by way of making an example out of an offender. These harsh punishments were abolished in the New Testament by the Sacrifice of Lord Jesus Christ. All of this is necessary for the child to trust the example of the parents or adults in a family or community, as punishment drives children far from the way they should go.

Ancient Jewish society had many traditions, and attachment parenting was a parenting tradition there. Children did not depart from the tribal traditions of ancient Israel, including Passover and Hanukkah. No child refuses a tradition except when it is associated with punishment. No child refuses God and Jesus except when punished in the name of God and Jesus. I was never punished for "religious mistakes" or anything regarding religion - I was to find my own way. How one takes religious and other traditions growing up is largely dependent on whether you were punished for refusing to take up a traditions. 

The healthy way to pass down traditions is through an encouraging example, meaning not demanding a child keep a tradition, but invite them too. Chances are, then, they will find the tradition very fascinating, and from there, you can have a long, open conversation in question-and-answer format about the tradition. For example, a child might be interested in Christmas, because they are brand new to the festivities, so tell them all about it and fill their head with knowledge. Most children will take on a tradition as a natural way to fit into their community and family unit, whereas most all children want to fit into family and community naturally. Punishment drives them far from that desire, and teaches them to resent these good things.

The depraved and entitled parents that provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!