Hebrews 12: Why it has nothing to do with spanking a child

Many parents punish and control their children, and many use the Bible as excuse. Hebrews 12:5-8 is a common way for pro-spanking pastors to transplant the rod verses in Proverbs to the New Testament, making a dated legal punishment in a specific ancient society relevant today. 

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh to you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth him not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, not sons.

The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoo) and refers literally to judicial corporal punishment in layers, first the Roman cat o' nine tails, then the rod of correction under the Old Testament law. There was no corporal punishment as a form of church discipline in the Early Christian church, even among the Hebrews. The Hebrews had to keep the whole Law, but minus the punishments imposed under the Law of Moses in the Old Testament. Christ abolished all capital and corporal punishment by experiencing such in His Sacrifice to mankind. The scourge is an analogy about enduring hardship, meaning simply waiting it out and enduring hardship leads to plentifulness at the end, meaning enduring hardship makes you stronger as a person. The Greek root word denoting chastisement is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to an attitude of discipline and self-control, in a sacrificial way that should be modeled by a parent to a child, not imposed. It is the attitude that you are entitled to nothing, thus grateful for everything. In the case of a parent, this entitlement, meaning lack thereof, would be directed towards one's child, with parents being entitled to nothing in return for providing for their child.

Certain passages in the Bible do have to do with parenting. It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to anger: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is the same as "chastisement" in Hebrews 12:5-8, meaning the word παιδεία (Latin: paideia) which refers to a certain Christian attitude of discipline in parents that exemplifies Christ and His Sacrifice, meaning parents are entitled to nothing from children, but are to be grateful for their children and the every joy they bring. Children owe nothing to parents, and parents owe everything to children, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow, backed up by the occasional verbal warning or denial of wants, as is denoted by the Greek root word νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia), with this word referring to agreed-upon warnings that a want is either unattainable or unsafe, followed by reassurance and consolation over the child's upset and grief that may arise from a denial of wants. Children should get most of what they want, however, as long as it is safe or attainable, with an actual warning of "no" being rare, and even rarer by the quoted word "no", meaning there are better ways to explain the word "no" to children than with the word itself, such as "that won't work" or "cannot happen", usually with an apology and reassurance afterwards. This is all weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" which is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and literally translates to "bitter anger" and refers to provocations to anger, meaning any and all offenses against children, with "offense" being defined as the slightest of offense perceived by the child. This was intended by the Apostle Paul to include any form of punishment and control in parenting, meaning any punitive parenting, including any spanking or corporal punishment. Punitive parenting was accepted in Greco-Roman society at large, and Greek Christians brought the idolatrous Hellenistic custom into the church. The punishment of children was legally defensible under Roman law, but not Jewish law. Paul would have none of such a pagan and idolatrous custom in the churches he oversaw as a deacon. He delivered the commandment for mutual submission in parenting, meaning parents show respect to children first and impart the Living Example of Christ, and then children follow, with no punishment to get in the way of the secure parent-child bond necessary to impart Christian family values.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to trust in parents. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you roughly come to a more accurate translation. However, this refers to a special kind of trust formed out of maternal warmth and sustenance. This is an open, honest form of trust where a child can tell a parent anything, and not expect any punishment or retribution in return. Children went in the nude in ancient Israel and adjoining churches, and this was so that they could be nourished in skin-to-skin closeness. Parents slept next to their children up until adulthood, with children up to age 3 being treated as infants and breastfed as such. Children then were allowed to play freely, but never left the line of sight of their parents, staying close to them. Mothers and daughters were inseparable until adulthood in most cases, or until she was ready to learn the Law in the Early Church, usually when she wanted to be a deacon (many women were deacons in the Early Church). Usually, children become curious about religion at around age 6. Children in ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church were demanding and rebellious in nature, and parents were to provide for the petitions for needs and a redress of grievances in children. 

Hebrews 12:5-8 is not a parenting verse. Ephesians 6:1-4 is a parenting passage, and it clearly prohibits spanking except to the most deluded of pro-spanking parents. Parenting in biblical times was attachment-based, meaning the goal of parents was closeness in the moment, leading to independence in adult children later. Personal autonomy and individual responsibility were Judeo-Christian values and are still today. America is a Christian nation, founded on Judeo-Christian family values, and our understanding of our values are constantly expanding with the inclusion of more people into society. Attachment parenting fits in with the accepted Christian doctrine of mutual submission as well as the doctrine of original sin (as applied to parents). In parenting, Hebrews 12 is for the parent, not the child, and is simply comfort that you are enduring hardship, but that enduring hardship makes one stronger in the end.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's tomb! Let the evildoing parents descend into the abyss which is eternal Hell-fire, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!