Encouraging discouragement: How to talk to pedophilic children

Many parents worry about their child being abducted or molested by a pedophile. But, few parents plan out the possibility of a child of theirs becoming a pedophile. Pedophilia is sexual thoughts about or attraction to children under age 14. Children as young as 16 can be officially diagnosed with pedophilic disorder, and children can be identified in retrospect as pedophiles much earlier. There is a certain gentle parenting way to talk to pedophiles about their planned endeavors, or to voice parental fears of them offending in a diplomatic way.

I myself am a pedophile, meaning of the non-offending type, and I have success in terms of mental health interventions to help me center my sexuality. Most people do not know how to relate to a pedophile, and the main advice is to not relate to a pedophile, but interrogate a pedophile. But, what if the pedophile is a child? All pedophiles, regardless of child status or lack thereof, need to have their demands met in a form of encouraging discouragement. 

Encouraging discouragement is discouraging behavior that offends children in an encouraging way. In order for this to work, you need open communication from day one of disclosure to parents, meaning when your child discloses their self-diagnosis, listen and validate. What you need to really look for is a tone-deaf disclosure, which is a sign of risk in terms of forms of abuse such as sexual harassment.

Encouraging discouragement is taking the pedophilic child on a walk, and gently and reassuringly explaining to the child that "I understand you like her, but she's too young. It won't work" and then have a conversation from there. Chances are it will come out "nah, she's not in love with you" in a reassuring tone.

Pedophilia as a disorder is linked to a strong counterwill, meaning pedophilic children are the headstrong type of children - some stereotypes are true. It outwardly appears as a form of autism that cannot be controlled by anyone, especially when they are fully aware of their sexual desires for children. The only way to deal with such a child is to teach them gently, as all punitive ways blow up in the parents' face. Most parents know how to spot pedophilia in their child, but more punitive parents would see it as an excuse to "crack down" extra hard on their child. The wave of gentle, attached parents is leading to children feeling safe about disclosing things such as autism

The most common form of abuse pedophiles report relevant to their disorder as a child is child sexual shaming. The most common verse revealed to this population of religious trauma survivor is Matthew 5:27-28 KJV:

Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Pedophilic fathers were actually encouraged to masturbate to fantasies of their children if they found themselves attracted to them. See Col. 3:21 for reference to context where this happened. The Greek root word translated "lust" is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and more accurately translates to "lustful intent" (see the New International Version). This word refers here to wanting sexual relations with another man's wife to the point of seeking her out. Christ here is referring strictly to adultery (GRK: μοιχεύο, moicheuo) and pointing to the fact that intent matters just as much as action. Adultery was strictly the act of taking another man's wife as your own sexual partner or sex slave. Fornication, as a biblical context, only is a moral crime when it involves another person. Think like a traffic stop. A pedophile is stopped by a cop for sexually hounding a young girl. If masturbation motivated it, that was a secondary offense in the Early Church, and only counted AFTER the initial judgment of sexual impurity, meaning if fantasy motivates you NOT to sexually abuse a child, it is actually spiritually beneficial. This passage is central to the hatred against pedophiles. Wanting to have sex with a child is not sin. Wanting to the point of seeking out children for sex is sexual entitlement, and is just as bad as the fornication itself that is perceived by the child.

Encourage your pedophilic child to engage in fantasy instead of seeking out much younger children, and reassure them that you do not judge their bodily autonomy in that regard. The idea behind pro-social fantasy is to be totally aware of your sex drive towards children, so you control it, instead of it controlling you and guiding you. This is best done with want avoidance, which your child should want to do on their own, but may require parents to be discouraging in an encouraging way, meaning usually a small redirection of intent away from a real child, and perhaps towards fantasy. How does a parent encourage fantasy? Step aside. They'll do it naturally. Let them know that they can share anything with you about their disorder, and even talk to you at length, and know that such is your God-given duty as a Christian parent (Col. 3:20-21).

A child should not be encouraged to have sexual relations with a much younger child. I personally think children shouldn't be having sex, period, since sex is a contract from God to a spouse, on the marriage bed, which should not be defiled. But, shaming children for sexual behavior is also abuse. With a pedophile, all you have to do is have an open conversation, and be their friend, and they will choose YOU over much younger children. You then will trust them infinitely, because you know them at the lowest level of their psyche. Let the entitled prejudicial parents BURN! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!