What is love? - and why most parents don't love their children

Many parents say that they love their children. Most parents will claim that now and then, but do they really? Most parents feel affection for their children, but do they love their child? Only a few of us love children, and some of us love them all.

It says in Matthew 22:35:40 KJV:

One of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him and saying, Matthew, which is the greatest commandment upon the law? Jesus said unto them, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, with all thy heart, and all thy soul, and all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second, like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang the law and the prophets.

The Greek root word translated "love" is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers here to loving your children as your neighbor, with love being conviction out of reverent fear and terror to surrender to the needs of your neighbor, as you would God. Children are your neighbor, and so Christians parents are to love their children the same way, with children being extensions of God (Matt. 25:31-46). 

Love for children involves mutual surrender between parents and children, with parents showing respect first. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, warm rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest and trust in our Lord Jesus Christ. Respect for parents is closeness towards parents on the level of sustenance, leading to fondness and admiration later in life, and then honor. Children demanded things to parents, and parents redirected demands and orders from children toward them, with parents supplying the demands of children, then children resting with gratitude and thanksgiving for all the provisions bestowed upon them by parents, then asking for more. Parenting in ancient Judeo-Christian culture was attachment-based in nature, meaning children went nude all of the time, and that was for mothers to co-sleep with their children nightly by way of skin-to-skin closeness, meaning closeness then was at the sustenance level. Children up to age 3 were treated behaviorally as infants, and breastfed as such. The Greek root word translated "parents" is γονεύς (Latin: goneus) and refers to leadership, but in a servile way, as the child's servant. Sometimes you lead the child to what they need, and other times they lead you, hand in hand, with the parent being a pro-social ragdoll for the child to carry around.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, as in the Jewish idiom "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotional welfare. Vs. 21 ultimately refers to offenses against children, meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, which included physical and other forms of punishment. The Apostle Paul was warning Christian parents of Greek origin about their outlying traditions, which included spanking and corporal punishment. The Greco-Roman tradition was one of patrias potestas and translated from the Latin to "power of the father", with fathers whipping their errant children. This setup did not exist under the Jewish law that the early Christian churches were based off of. Corporal punishment only existed in the Old Testament, and only as a sentence for crime, meaning a summary punishment for a capital offense. Jesus Christ abolished all capital and corporal punishment by enduring it through His Sacrifice. Paul would have none of the Greek traditions of striking children in the churches he oversaw. Paul also issued parenting manuals to parents, with these parenting manuals charging parents to be attachment parents, and securely attached parents of a certain kind, meaning exemplary teaching of children through the Living Example of Christ, with parents being disciplined in a way that models strictness and discipline in children, with parents showing a charitable and generous to children, imparting charity and generosity onto children to teach them to be charitable and generous with others, modeling selflessness.

Most parents in the United States talk a good game about love, not knowing what it is. Agape love is endless and unconditional, in a way that leads to surrender and submission to your neighbor, earning respect from one's neighbor, including a child, by treating them with respect. Love never fails, meaning when there is a failure in a love relationship, there was no love there to begin with, and when there is reconciliation, love always existed from the very beginning, and that reconciliation was foreknown by God. Love is forever, or for never. Love for a child. therefore, is not a conditional contract, but is unconditional, meaning you never strike out at your child, or punish your child, as that isn't love. Love never plots against its subject, and love doesn't seek to get its way with controlling intent. It says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 KJV:

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoice not in inequity, but rejoiceth in truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but where there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether they be tongues, they shall cease; whether there shall be love, it shall vanish away.

Do not get easily offended by your child's behaviors. Do not plan evil and vengeance against your child. Do not insist on your way when a child has a different plan for life. Do not behave in an unseemly manner towards a child, meaning do not offend them with your behavior. God loves His children for their sinful nature, as any Christian parent should love their child for their flaws, doting on them with kindness and charity.

The depraved, entitled, and unloving parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is the fiery, ever-burning tomb of Satan! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!