Strictness in parenting: Why parents should be strict with themselves (and then children follow suit)

Many parents believe in being strict with children. This is a common attitude among parents in this country, namely the pro-spanking variety. The neighborhood competition in many areas of this country is who is the strictest with their child. Discipline is the key to everything, and my Christian beliefs as an attachment parenting advocate support discipline.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the Lord. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, starting with the phrase "entitled to nothing, grateful for everything", in this case directed towards one's relationship with one's children, from day one. It is a lack of demands and orders from children, shaping the parent up in the chastening, modeling good discipline and chastisement to children, not lashing out in anger or sexual aggression when wanting something of a child, such as cooperation or companionship. The idea is remind yourself that nobody owes you anything as a parent, especially your child, and that you owe your child everything, without expecting anything in return from them. Know to give to children everything under the sun that they need, and expect nothing in return, meaning no praise and no glory for having a title. Parenting is a thankless job, and that reverent shame should be enough to chasten up parents, with them knowing their place as being entitled as adults, being the child's enemy, seeking to be their friend. This attitude should be modeled to children and will be if done right, meaning parents not lash out or strike out at their child ever. Discipline is something to be modeled to children by parents, with children following in the footsteps of the Living Example of Christ in their parents, not being entitled to anything, going the right path. This disciplined attitude in parents should lead to questioning children about what they really need, apart from adult assumptions as part of a presumptive diagnosis. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to a warning, usually involving the word "no" or its various variants, with this divine warning being agreed upon between parent and child, meaning you only warn a child about their behavior if you think they will listen. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to warm trust and rest in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers trust and rest in Lord Jesus Christ. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you get a more proper translation, with the trust being one stemming from maternal warmth and sustenance. Respect for parents is intense, sustaining closeness to parents, leading to fondness and admiration later in childhood, and then honor come adulthood. This kind of trust is open and honest with parents, with children sharing anything and everything under the sun, meaning whatever is on their mind, using parents as their best friend and closest confidant. Parenting in biblical times was attachment-based in nature, with children being in the nude throughout childhood wherever they went, with this being a mechanism promoting skin-to-skin closeness with mothers, with children up to age 3 being breastfed, and being treated behaviorally as infants until that age. The "terrible twos" were seen then not as terrible at all - just a baby crying out for love. Parents were convicted reverently to serve the needs and even benign wants of children. Children were seen as rebellious, but more in terms of reverent rebellion to appease and cater to, with childhood rebellion consisting of children making demands and orders on children. The text concerning trusting and listening to parents was written aside of children, for parents to keep by earning respect, and then cooperation afterwards, to the point of compliance if done right.

Strictness is not to be imposed on a child by beating it into them. It is to be weaved through the atmosphere by the non-entitled self-improvement of parents. Parents are entitled to nothing from children. They are to give in the form of Christian love, which is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to serving children by putting their needs above yours, with children being first, and parents last. This means parents are caregivers beholden to their children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Taking that extra attitude of not expecting anything in return leads to discipline and chastisement, then gratitude. A truly discipline life is a happy life.

As a conservative Christian, I am entitled to nothing from a child, and grateful for everything children give me. I just like being around them, and I am grateful for their mere presence. This chastens me up into being a good Christian man. I have a wicked and depraved nature, and am not good with children. I am entitled as an adult in relation to children, and am deserving of nothing but hatred and disdain from children for the depraved sexually entitled adult that I am.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let the entitled parents descend into eternal Hell and torment, withstanding God's wrath, forever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!