"Rebel just the right way": Understanding reverent rebellion in the Bible with children

"Rebel against me, but just the right way" is what happens in a sexually abusive home when the perpetrator wants to stop abusing the children. Reverent rebellion is having children rebel, but in the right way. The only difference, mainly, was that in biblical times, the parents were at fault for children rebelling against them the wrong way.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, warm rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest and trust in the love and grace of Jesus Christ. This Greek root word refers to closeness towards parents, leading to respect and admiration for parents into adulthood. Children were expected to rebel in ancient Judeo-Christian culture, at least some of the time, and this was intended to hold parents accountable for a redress of grievances or unmet needs. Needs, in childhood, include food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with attachment being the greatest of all needs. Children would demand things from parents, usually in a very blunt and tone-deaf manner, have their demands met by the parent, then with children being happy and grateful for what they receive, at least until they want more, in which all children want more. Parenting was attachment-based in ancient Israel and adjoining churches, with children being treated as infants until age 3, and children co-sleeping in the nude with mothers until adulthood, with mothers and daughters being inseparable until adulthood.

A provocation to anger was when children would become nasty, and ravage their parents for needs like rogue animals, and also strike out with parents, meaning they weren't being listened to, and the dynamic evidenced that. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) refers to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, as in the Jewish idiom "stirring the pot" in reference to the emotional welfare of children. This refers to offenses against children, meaning the slightest of offense perceived by a child, including corporal punishment and other forms of punishment, control, or harshness. The Apostle Paul was giving a warning to Greek members of the Colossian church who were punishing their children that such was not acceptable under the Law. Corporal punishment only existed in the Old Testament as a sentence for crime, as a last warning before being put to death for a capital offense. Christ died on the cross so that the death penalty and corporal punishment would be abolished, by enduring such punishment. In the Early Church, capital and corporal punishment didn't exist, and angry expression was only acceptable in court, meaning the exchange or else church inquisition, and in the form of planned names at the harshest. Only legal adults could be charged with a criminal offense under the Law. The Apostle handed out attachment parenting manuals that instructed parents to impart the Living Example of Christ onto children, meaning charitable and sacrificial treatment of children, where children were allowed to rest in the love and grace of parents, with parents being extensions of Christ and safe people around their children. Children were allowed to petition for needs and a redress of grievances, and rebel in such a spirit. Abuse was spotted when the child's rebellion was helpless in nature, meaning their parents were being non-listening in their parenting, stonewalling the child, meaning ignoring them in a non-listening way that deprives them of attachment needs. A truly attached parent would be devoted to listening to their child and their every interest. 

Any anger could only be expressed in a courtroom setting of some sort, and since children couldn't stand trial then, their parents were responsible and had to apologize in the exchange for their child's behaviors, not getting angry with their child, but instead warning them of the harm of their behavior gently but firmly, backed up by attachment. Childhood anger was understood as a moral command, with it assumed that they need something, usually loving attention of some sort, and if the child was pacified by, for example, parental affection, that's all they needed, and then the legal case against the parents was closed. Children were extensions of God called to convict the wretched and entitled hearts of adults, namely their parents, with their vulnerable appearance to the world. Parents then totally accepted their children, and when you accept children that way, you revere them for their vulnerability, not despite it. You love the for ther faults, not despite them, just as God loves His children for their faults.

The depraved and entitled parents and adults who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them burn and suffer in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the fire of Hell and torment, which was foreknown as their fate due to their hatred of children! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!