Mutual respect: Why to respect your child first as a parent

Many parents feel the need to demand respect from children. This is a trait of most American parents. However, most parents don't understand that they need to pay respect to their child before they get respect back in return.

Rome reversed the roles. Parents are to respect their children first. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV: 

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is ὑπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, warm trust and rest in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest and trust in Lord Jesus Christ our Savior. Respect for parents is intense closeness to parents at the level of sustenance, leading to fondness and admiration later, and then honor. Children, in relation to parents, can be whomever they want, and tell parents anything and everything under the sun, and not fear punishment or controlling attitudes. All the child's energy and rambunctiousness would be channeled inward towards the parents by the parents, with children being safe people to confide in and be themselves around, running amok around the house, knocking things over, with parents picking up messes from children, and children end up grateful for the charity and generosity of parents. Parenting in ancient Israel and adjoining churches was attachment-based, with children going in the nude, with mothers co-sleeping in the nude with their children, with skin-to-skin closeness. Children up to age 3 were considered infants behaviorally, and were breastfed as such. Respectful listening to parents came later, with children hearing the reassuring voice of their parents, trusting in their parents at the instinctual level, then obeying commands in an independent "tag-along" format independent from punishment. This commandment was ultimately given to parents of young children, but written aside to the child for later, meaning parents have to earn the respect of their children. When children naturally "tag-along" to the instructions and pathways of parents, you have earned their full respect in terms of secure attachment. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers literally to "stirring up" upsets and resentments in children, namely the Jewish idiom of "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotional welfare. This ultimately refers to provocations to anger under the Law, meaning here offenses against children, or the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including physical or other punishment, threats, or menaces. The Apostle Paul here was rebuking a group of Greek parishioners in the churches he oversaw as a deacon. The Hellenistic tradition in parenting involved spanking children, whereas the Apostle Paul would have none of it in the churches he oversaw as a deacon. Paul gave this with his pen intending it as an anti-spanking command. Paul also handed out, upon arrival at Colossae on horseback, parenting manuals that instructed parents to switch to attachment parenting, meaning a type that was exemplary in nature, and imparted the Living Example of Christ onto children, but since only Christ was perfect, parents should focus on self-discipline as an example to impart onto children, as well as sacrificing for children and being charitable to them in order to teach children how to be charitable and selfless towards others. Most of the time, children are not respectful when their parents aren't respectful to them.

Respect is earned in life. If you want your children to respect you, you need to respect them first. Respect for children is convicting in nature, and is a form of Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). Children are the "least of these" and extensions of God, and are to be treated with the same convicted respect that one would treat God with. Love God, and then love your neighbor, and whatever you do to the least of human beings, you do to God (Matt. 25:31-46), for better or worse. When you see a child, think God, and think God being in a vulnerable place. Reverent respect leading to love - that is how you should treat your child. You know nothing about your child apart from what shows, as is the case with God, so be open to the child correcting you about their needs.

The depraved and entitled parents that provoke their child to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's tomb in foresight! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! /