Pro-social mirror: Understanding surrender to parents

Many parents want their children to surrender to them, and believe that punishment will achieve that goal. Many of these parents cite the Bible as an excuse for abuse. The reality is that surrender to parents is a earned response from parents in gentle parenting, and can be understood as like a mirror.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest the be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, coming from the sacrifice of parents, in the spirit that Christ sacrificed for His children; taking up the cross, in the spirit that Christ took up the cross for His children; and martyrdom in everything, expecting absolutely nothing in return as a parent, leading to rest and surrender in the sacrifice of parents, running to parents instead of fearing punishment from them. Ultimately, this Greek root word uplifts the traditional Judeo-Christian parenting context, which is attachment-based in nature, with children up to age 3 being seen as infants and being breastfed up until that age. Child nudity was legal then, as mothers needed an easy way to bond with their children using skin-to-skin contact, as mothers were also unclothed in the home.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" upset or resentment in children, as in the Jewish adage of "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotional well-being. Paul here is referring to the symbolic teaching in the 1st Century Christian church, as well as Judaism as a whole, that saw children as mirrors of their own flaws and demons, meaning the temper your child has is the same temper you have for them, so quit lashing out and punishing your child, and be kind and charitable to them. Ultimately, the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child is child abuse, regardless of the secular law. Oftentimes, children expressed offense by pinning frustration back onto the parents, meaning child defiance is an attempt to punish parents back fir being punished, and that was what Paul was warning the Christians of his day about. Ancient Jewish society was attachment parenting society, and this customary law was mandatory in the Christian Churches of God, and so Paul accompanied the delivery of the Epistle to the Colossians with attachment parenting manuals, which charged mothers to hold their children close with swaddling bands, with specific instruction as to how to use swaddling bands. Fathers were encouraged to avoid sexual or other entitlement in relation to children, including struggles such as anger and pedophilia, by channeling unfair feelings about a child into a box to open up or\ close at ease.

Children are like a mirror for all our flaws and demons as adults. Their willfulness comes from the will of adults to control a child, meaning if adults don't have a will to control their child, children won't want to manipulate back. Most children are manipulative because parents are controlling with them first. Child surrender in the biblical context was like a mirror as they got older, meaning as parents showed respect to children, the children mirrored it back, in the form of mutual submission. You reap what you sow as a parent, in terms of attitudes in children.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them suffer in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!