Autism parenting: Why policing attachment isn't just for autism families

Many autism parents believe that they are the only ones that need to sacrifice. Parenting a child or young adult with autism can be a challenge. We call them the first attachment parents here at Opposing Parental Entitlement, meaning the first to be convicted.

Autism parenting is based on the concept that, due to the developmental disability that is autism, you must "pick and choose your battles" because they are too immature to understand, at a young age, that certain behaviors are unacceptable. Peaceful, attached parenting adds on another layer of understanding - children in general can't be expected to know better until they are an adult, meaning when they are older, and should be taught, not punished. Many liberal pro-spanking parents exempt children with autism like I was, while treating typically-developing children in a punitive way. Autism, in children, is simply a different way of expressing needs. Usually, the central feature is that the tear ducts are shut, and perhaps also some sensory issues, so they hit, kick, or bite. In more punitive homes, they hit others, because that's what they see or saw at home, at least until their parents woke up and saw that their child has autism. Those raised in a more gentle parenting home will turn the aggression on themselves, as the hallmark of gentle parenting is turning parental aggression (physical/verbal, sexual/pedophilic) inward, with parents modeling this attitude as an example. Most with autism only cry in life-threatening situations, or life-ending situations such as getting arrested for abusing others. Tears can be a sign of guilt in an adult with autism, or a sign of defiance in a child with autism. I would cry as a child when I didn't feel listened to, and learned to be demonstrative with my emotions to prove trauma. Pro-social demonstration is still a part of my acronym train, including pro-social pitiful situation, meaning expressing gutteral, vulnerable frustration, and most people then care, and if they don't, I confidently know how evil and heartless they are...Most children cry all the time, for everything, and so adults just ignore them. 

The biblical teaching of mutual respect is Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, coming from sacrifice for one's children, in the spirit that Christ sacrificed for His children; taking up the cross for one's child, in the spirit that Christ took up the cross for His children; martyring oneself in everything as a parent, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting in the sacrifice of parents, emulating their example as a token of gratitude and thanksgiving for said sacrifice of parents. Policing attachment is a form of secure attachment found in children with autism and/or pedophilia as a diagnosis/self-diagnosis, meaning the child is very direct about their needs, meaning like barking orders. The child polices the parent as to their needs, and the parent caves, finding a way to make it work, avoiding the constant use of the word "no". This was the default parenting style of parents in biblical times, as this word lifts up. Children as old as age 3 were treated as infants, and were swaddled next to mother. Child nudity was legal under the Law, and that was because children of all ages under the age of majority snuggled next to mothers, as a form of skin-to-skin contact, in order to earn trust from children, whereas parents were seen as the enemy of their children, with children being the "least of these" extended by God to order parents around as to their needs. Mothers especially co-slept with their children and laid next to them in affectionate tense in order to gel a good parent-child bond with them.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, as in the Jewish adage "stirring the pot" in terms of your child's emotional well-being. This commandment was intended as a prohibition on any kind of punishment towards a child from God through the Apostle Paul. This means the model of entitlement leading to theft/abuse, with theft meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child stemming from parental entitlement, which is denoted by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to wanting things from children, or wanting them to do things, to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child, with such wants being often related to believing the same values or doing what parents want them to do. Punishment of any kind is prohibited under this moral statute due to its imposing and controlling nature, which always offends children at some level. The Apostle Paul handed out attachment parenting manuals accompanying the delivery of the Epistle to the Colossians to the church gate. Paul was writing to Greco-Roman parents who punished their children as Hellenistic custom. Paul would have none of it in the Christian Churches of God, and since this letter was marked as divine literature, it applied to all Christians everywhere. This command lifted up all child abuse offenses under the Law of Moses, which actually put to death pro-spanking parents for kidnapping. In the Early Christian churches, spanking or punishing a child was seen as a moral crime worthy of death, even though Christ abolished such on the cross, meaning the parent would then be threatened with the second death, meaning Hell, during interrogation.

The Apostle Paul, in the verse annotated above, was speaking of children in his parenting manuals as akin to mirrors, reflecting back to parents their every flaw, showing parents their every demon. Children with autism aren't the only children to show you your bad side. They are just the most succinct and demonstrative at that mirroring presentation. Pro-social mirror is the way to understand respect for parents in the Bible. As parents show respect to children, it should be mirrored with respect back, especially as children get older. Autism itself, as a disorder, is a progressive disorder, meaning it gets better with time. Childhood, in and of itself, is also progressive. However, all children are developmentally immature, by medical definition, meaning just like a child with autism won't "get it" with a lot of things until they are older, all children are in the same boat. Children, as they get older and more mature, should respond to the love and grace of their parents with love and grace back, not because you are forced to by your parents, but because it is the right thing to do, and that's the only motivation in relation to peaceful, attached parents.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger, through punishment or permissiveness, will not inherit the God, regardless of label! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!