The Fifth Commandment: Why respect is earned

Many parents demand respect. These parents cite the Fifth Commandment to "honor parents" as the reason for deserving respect. However, no adult deserves respect just for being "the adult" or "the parent". The Fifth Commandment does not demand respect for parents, but merely lays the groundwork for it to happen.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land the LORD thy God giveth thee. 

This is actually the first commandment with promise, meaning a promise of life, as before the Fifth Commandment, parents could kill their children and sacrifice them to the god Molech, and could do so with impunity. After this commandment, in order for a parent to put down a stubborn and rebellious son, the adult child was afforded ample due process under the Law, meaning a stubborn and rebellious son had the right to his own attorney, and the parents had to testify against him, which was heavily stigmatized then. Most parents after the Fifth Commandment did not put their children on trial, and testify against them, but simply waited for them to come home from a rebellious journey, praying for their safe return, but loving them anyway, even if their children didn't love them at the time. The commandment against stubborn and rebellious sons applied only to adult sons.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated several times in the New Testament, namely in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody, meaning secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, being able to share anything and tell anything to parents, being oneself in relation to one's parents, with children demanding their every need, and parents providing, bearing the brunt of the intensity of childhood needs, with children owing nothing in return to parents, and parents deserving absolutely nothing in return for their charity and generosity towards their children, but nonetheless with children showing gratitude and thanksgiving for such charity by children emulating the example and momentary instruction, with cooperation and compliance motivated by closeness to parents, not punishment or control. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" children, in terms of the Jewish idiom of "stirring the pot" in terms of a child's anger or upset, ultimately referring to the offenses in the legal context of the Bible, referring to the torts and damages system under the Eighth Commandment, which involves theft or kidnapping, meaning, at the very least, the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, with kidnapping referring to hostage-taking parenting strategies such as spanking, whipping, corporal punishment, false imprisonment, or other "or else" measures, with "or else" refers to hostage taking in the form of threats that may or may not be backed up by punishment in order to "hold in one's hand"..

In the biblical context, parents did not obtain complain and cooperation through fear of punishment, but closeness and secure attachment. The Greek root word denoting parents is γονεύς (Latin: goneus) and refers to children leading their parents to their own needs. Infants were swaddled to the bosom of their mother until age 3, and were breastfed right up until then or else even later in childhood, with older children remaining close to mothers as well, leading parents by the hand to what they need, demanding their needs, with parents supplying. In Ancient Israel and adjoining churches, child surrender to parents was based off of closeness, not punishment, with that culture being an attachment parenting culture. Closeness and secure attachment was used by Jewish mothers and fathers for parents to gain cooperation with their children, and also have a closer relationship with them. Mothers nurtured, and fathers lovingly encouraged spiritual growth.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive attitudes will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn and rot in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for the evil one and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!