Good Christian manners in parents: Why to say "please" and "thank you" to your children

Many parents want to teach their children good manners, but fail to have good manners themselves towards their children. Parental entitlement is the sinful nature of parent-kind and adult-kind, meaning wanting things from children to the point of demanding, punishing, or controlling. Control and punishment are not family values.

The Tenth Commandment states in Exodus 20:17 KJV:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife. Thou shalt not cover thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

The Hebrew word translated "covet" is לחמוד (Latin: lachmod) and refers here to parental entitlement, meaning wanting things from a child to the point of seeking to impose said want onto children. This is cross-referenced by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to the entitled attitude of "I can talk to you however I want, as I am the parent, and you must speak nicely to me" leading to said attitude being imposed upon a child through punitive or controlling means, including demanding children show manners without parents showing any to children.

The Fifth Commandment, in full, states in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody, meaning the secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, with children demanding things from parents, and parents supplying said needs, with children being able to tell parents anything, sharing anything and everything under the sun with a parent, without fearing punishment or control from parents, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents, with parents deserving nothing in return from children, but nonetheless with children showing gratitude and thanksgiving for the charity and generosity of parents by emulating the example and momentary instruction of parents. In a functioning relationship with your child, ordering them around and showing menace won't work. Parents are to show their non-entitlement by saying "please" and "thank you" to their children, with an example being "would you please clean your room" as opposed to "clean your room!". Parents are to rarely ask things of children, with children instead electing to do things on their own for parents, trying to please parents and thank them for being so kind, generous, and show gratitude for not punishing them, and being polite to them instead. I myself, as an adult, would humbly ask a child, on a very rare occasion, to maybe do something for me such as pick up a load of groceries when my hands were full, and I knew they would care enough about me to go to the trunk of the car and pick up a bag, because I care about them and haven't damaged the relationship in any way. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers literally to "stirring the pot" in terms of children's emotions, in a negative way, with this root word literally literally refers to the offenses in the Bible under the Eighth Commandment, meaning the torts and damages under the Law of Moses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child. For many children, it is offensive to be ordered around and then punished for not listening, with parents asking the child to do anything and everything in the book. The idea is to ask very little of children. So you want them to grab a coffee for you? Why don't YOU serve THEM at table instead, being chivalrous to them, honoring their presence, perhaps holding the door for them, stepping aside to allow them to run through. It is an attitude of Christian politeness towards children, meaning a "tip the hat" attitude towards children. Saying a simple "please" when requesting something from a child, and a "thank you" once they do it, is simply polite, but also shows, practically and morally, that you have no entitlement in relation to a child, or else you are fighting against it.

But, a child will do all these things for you once you are chivalrous to them, even though they owe nothing to you morally legally, they will be convicted morally otherwise. A child who is truly obedient and polite towards parents has parents that honor them first, meaning I often pay the tab when going out to a restaurant, and I do so in order to give back. Obedience to parents is giving back, out of instinct, in a way that feels good in a way you rarely describe, but first parents need to give into the pot, meaning put all their effort and assets into raising a child without punishing, controlling, or manipulating them in any way, as controlling approaches provoke children to anger by way of the counterwill and counter-control of the child.

Parents in the biblical context asked very little of their children, with expectations being low with the culture then endorsing attachment parenting, with infants up to age 3 swaddled to their mother's bosom, and even older children carried on her back, perhaps on a stroll through the city to market. Children were the ones to command and demand their parents serve their children, meeting the every need of children. Only judicial corporal punishment existed in the Bible, and only in the Old Testament, meaning Christians are bound by the New Covenant with God after Christ, and the New Testament not depicting any punishment at all, perhaps, but maybe logical consequences such as excommunication and shunning dressed as such (1 Cor. 5:11), in which case it was usually usually the mother stepped in and divorced the father of her children (1 Cor. 7:10-11), which, in the case of child abuse including spanking or corporal punishment, the whole church community sided with her and excommunicated the father, shunning him from all sight.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let the entitled, verbally abusive and menacing parents descend forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!