Exemplary discipline: Why children learn through example, not punishment

Many parents punish their children in the United States, and do so because they want their children to behave. This is a common want that parents impose on children, meaning behavioral standards. The problem is that children don't learn through punishment, but by example.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek phrase translated "in the Lord" is ἐν κυρίῳ (Latin: en Kyriō) and refers to the fact that children shouldn't listen to parents just because parents said so, but because it is right and just in the Lord, meaning heed parental instruction with your own conscience, in the Lord, not in parents alone. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, with parents sacrificing for their children, just as Christ did for His children; with parents taking up the cross for their children like Christ did with His children; martyring oneself for one's children, just as Christ did for His children...and the children rest in the sacrifice of adults, and show gratitude and thanksgiving by way of emulating the example of parents, listening to the momentary instruction of parents in the Lord. The Greek root word υπακουο uplifts the attachment parenting traditions of ancient Judeo-Christian culture. Child nudity was legal in ancient Jewish culture, and was for a reason - easy access to mothers if you were her child, as mothers were unclothed when in the home, with children snuggling and cuddling next to mother, and with parents using skin-to-skin contact to earn closeness and then respect from children. Adults then were seen as the enemy of children, with children being the "least of these" that parents need to make amends with, and so parents surrendered, then children accordingly, running to parents in response to their unconditional love. P

Parents are extensions of Christ in the home. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to exemplary instruction, meaning parents chasten themselves up as a Christ-like example, being servants to their children by way of righteous enslavement, modeling selfless Christian attitudes instead of preaching it or imposing it. The idea is to chasten oneself into a disciplined role-model, but in a way that is listening in nature, hearing out the upset, frustration, and cries of children, bearing the brunt of that heat, teaching children indirectly yet directly how to treat others. The more a child is exposed to selfless role-models, the more likely they are to be selfless. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the word "no" and its various variants in parenting, while explaining to children why "no" means "no". Most items should be a matter of compromise with children, meaning a firm "no" should usually only be given when a child is insisting on something unsafe, and when they continue the unsafe behavior, supervise them to make sure they are safe, maybe picking them up or holding them in a basket-hold when they stray into dangerous territory. Most other things can be compromised. "No" should be a rare word in a Christian home.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to the moral count of provoking your neighbor to anger, with children counted as neighbor. Basically, the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, is child abuse. The Greek root word denoting parental entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to not just want from a child, but wanting things from a child, or for them to do things for you, to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child. The Apostle Paul was giving a command from God not to spank, punish, or be harsh with children, with him handing out parenting manuals giving attachment parenting alternatives, such as co-sleeping and skin-to-skin contact. Greco-Roman culture was very punitive, with boys being whipped at all levels of their life, and girls being spanked for "unchaste" behavior. Judeo-Christian parenting was attachment-based in nature, and was by way of tradition, to differentiate themselves from the Canaanites who were harsh with their children physically and sexually, many times killing them as sacrifice.

Children need good role models, as they emulate the personality and character of parents. Thus, be who you want your child to be, and set a good example for them, being their role model. Children are more likely to follow a role model that doesn't punish them or is controlling with them. That's why children stray away from parents in terms of following role models - because parents punish, and children resent that sort of treatment even if they defend their parents (Stockholm syndrome). 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn and rot in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Let them descend and burn forever and ever in eternal Hell-fire! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!