Why getting angry at a child is sin - anger abstinence in parenting

 Many parents think they have the right to get angry with their children. As a parent, under natural law, your rights are limited. Anger is simply a feeling, not a right of any parent, and butthurt feelings from "back talk" make parents a bunch of snowflakes.

It says in Matthew 5:21-22 KJV:

You have heard that it was said of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment. But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother shall: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of fire.

This prohibits expressed anger or angry intent except when held back and channeled into court exchanges, meaning an exchange mano-a-mano between two adults, with a plaintiff interrogating a defendant. Anger is to be saved for righteous judgment, judging other adults by way of verbal rebuke. However, children are not legal subjections, as they are ignorant as to what is right or wrong, and simply need to be taught.

Anger outside of God-recognized courtroom space, meaning never with children, was seen as entitlement, with parents punishing their children with their anger being guilty of both entitlement and perjury, with perjury referring to moralizing behavior that should not be moralized.

The alternatives to getting angry are stated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to providing custody over a child, meaning children being provided for, with children being in a state of rest and security in relation to parents, being able to share anything and everything under the sun with parents, demanding needs from parents, with parents supplying the every need of a child, with children owing nothing in return to parents. Parents are to love their children through Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to reverent fear and terror being struck into a parent by the needs of a child demanded, leading to surrendering to God through one's child, turning oneself in for one's own adult power and control against children, just like Christ turned Himself in for his children - for a crime He didn't even commit! It is sacrificing for one's child, taking up the cross for them, just like Christ sacrificed for His children. 

Fits of anger as a parent were not acceptable in ancient Hebrew culture when directed towards children. Christians then based their faith values on self-control and self-discipline, and a man who was insecure enough to control and punish a child was seen as less than a man, and weak for being so explosive due to insecurity. The Greek root word translated and refers to provocation to anger in vs. 21 is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses in the legal context of the Bible, meaning the torts and damages system under the Eighth Commandment, simplified and taken further after Christ as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, coming from parental entitlement, denoted by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to wanting things from a child, or for children to do what you want them to do, to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child, claiming the right to impose said want because "I am the parent/adult", usually in the form of anger, sexual entitlement, or both.

Anger, for an adult, was to be held back, and saved for a planned exchange with the neighbor that sinned against you, following rules of engagement and evidence, with the plaintiff who perceived abuse interrogating the defendant. An adult who was in and out of court was seen as a peacekeeper, and was excommunicated and shunned from the church community. An adult who was constantly lashing out at children? A perjuror. A liar, because children do no wrong in the eyes of God. Parenting then was attachment based, meaning children up to age 3 were swaddled next to mothers, or right aside of them in a cradle or manger. Children were to make demands on parents, and those demands were, in fact, legally binding, meaning if you didn't supply the demands of the parent, you could be charged by the community with dereliction of parental duties, even when a mother was cold and distant, not giving much affection and emotional care to her infant or young child. Striking a child? Unthinkable in the Old Testament, with all rod verses in Proverbs, Sirach, and Hebrews referring to the corporal punishment of young adult men in court, before their death sentence once they reoffended - children were not whipped because they could not stand trial due to youth inexperience and ignorance of the Law. In the New Testament, corporal punishment was a reason to excommunicate and shun a parent, and dereliction of duties would be one of the charges. Warmth with your child was mandatory under customary law, which was enforced law in the New Testament on gentle believers from the Hellenistic world who were used to spanking and punishing their child, thus refusing to assimilate into the dominant Hebrew culture of the church.

Getting angry then with your child was seen as taking them to court, when they were, in fact, too young to stand trial. A child getting angry with their parents was seen as a needy child, but a child worth the charity nonetheless, with parents being the ones shamed when they were too cold and strict, being too hard on their children. When a child was angry with their parent because they wanted attention, parents were inclined by customary law to simply give the poor child some attention, meaning affection, shared activities, and so forth. Most of the time, that's why they cry out of nowhere - they want attention, so give them some. Pro-social peerification is a gentle parenting term, meaning be a friend that provides for your younger friends, and this was the norm in ancient Israel as well. Parents weren't seen as above with minor children, but as attendant parents who doted on their children, by modern standards.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger though punitive or permissive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let the parents languish in eternal torment! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!