Pro-social punching bag: What to do when your child becomes physically aggressive

All parents have children that throw tantrums, at least some of the time, at least at some age. However, quite a few parents have children that throw aggressive tantrums, or tantrums in the form of an aggressive outburst. There is a way to listen to such children, if you know how - pro-social punching bag.

Christ said on the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:38-39 KJV:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

This refers to non-violent resistance of children's aggressive or violent behaviors in layers, meaning if your child strikes you across the face, you are ideally to turn the other cheek also, and allow them to strike you there, embracing hopelessness and helplessness as an entrenched parent, allowing yourself to fully realize the helpless position you are in as a parent, then cry as any good parent would when humbled by the blows of their child. Usually, children just "shut off" by that point, as the tears of their bludgeoned parents shock them enough that it is real, and they try to clean up the mess they made through frantic reassurance. Children can be parasitic while in that completely enthralled state, looking for justice on their parent's body. Give it to them, and wear the bruises as a badge of honor that your child would even feel safe confiding such justice into you, so be grateful. At a glance, however, this refers simply to avoiding offense, in all parts of life, including parenting. It is a command you hold over yourself, not others, and involves avoiding offense taken against simple personal slights, and in parenting, not letting the behaviors of your child, or their defiance even, get under your skin. I save my anger for court, for a specific control dynamic usually, that is projectory in terms of information, meaning I only charge grooming offenses, or else wait for the insults to pile up.

Anger may consume you, but Christ said early in His sermon, in Matthew 5:21-22 KJV:

Ye have heard it was said of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever says, Thou fool, shall be in danger of Hell-fire.

"Whosoever" meaning anyone "is angry with his brother" referring to extrajudicial anger, meaning any anger outside of the court exchange "without a cause" meaning confronting your fellow man about a moral legal grievance without evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that they are guilty. No anger is to be expressed towards a child, as that implies taking the child to court, whilst a child cannot stand trial, meaning then any child under the age of majority. This meant parents had to hold in anger, often being human punching bags for rowdy, needy children that may not have had the words yet to obtain what they need any other way. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody, meaning secure, vulnerable rest and trust in parents, with children being able to be themselves, telling parents whatever they want, venting their upsets and anger into parents, including with parents as a punching bag, especially mothers, with mothers not feigning courage, and instead embracing vulnerability with their cries of mercy from their child. Ancient Israel and adjoining churches were a society that at times rationalized abuse of parents. Parent abuse is simple child aggression, and was normal then to varying degrees, namely little children, and if a parent struck back, that was seen as a sign of weakness. The dynamic of child surrender in the Bible is one of pro-social pedophilia and pro-social siphon, meaning parents siphoned the rambunctious energy of children into a home setting, where children could run around, maybe knock a vase over, play freely, and a parent doesn't even bat an eye, unless the child is into something dangerous, in which case they are simply to be removed from the situation, and reassured once they cry out of grief for that unsafe item or situation they wanted to explore. "Pro-social pedophilia" does not mean pedophilia is a good thing, but makes an example out of the unspoken, positive traits of the mental health condition, including the ability to have a special relationship with a child at the child's level.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses in the legal context of the Bible, meaning the slightest of offense perceived by a child through an entitled conduct or course of conduct from adults, leading to "stirring up" anger, upset, and resentment in children, referencing the old adage of "stirring the pot" (a Greek language saying). In the Colossian church, there was a spanking problem due to an influx of Greek and Roman newcomers to the parish, in which, in their culture, spanking and whipping children was legal as part of their pagan norms, as a pagan ritual to "cleanse" children. The Apostle Paul was giving a Divine Command from God to the Colossians in order to lay down the law - no punishment of children allowed. Only closeness and love. 

Parents weren't to lay "appropriate" blame on children, but to shield them from blame. Child surrender was surrendering blame to parents, with parents acting as a shield that took the blame of children, taking responsibility and apologizing for an unruly or mentally unstable child, with parents being a safe person to run to, to vent upset towards, and then heed instruction from - not out of fear of punishment, but allowance due to vulnerable trust, meaning nesting with parents in a way that one feels safe nesting next to parents. That shield meant enduring parent abuse from children, meaning children in biblical times were not sweet and innocent like children today, but were hyperactive in a clingy way, or else an aggressive way. Children up until the age of majority were seen as babies, in the sense precisely that they were not responsible for their actions. The problem then wasn't spanking in the Old Testament in particular, but false encouragement, meaning parents wanted to be seen as allowing their children to be free, and sometimes, fathers would slip in a dose of adultification to the freedom, or putting children in corrupting adult roles, which wasn't the norm then, but was the exception, and was illegal once found out. This was the problem in Hebraic circles among the Early Christians.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them burn and rot, descending for ever and ever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand/