Expectations versus requests: Why not to expect things from children

Many parents expect things from children. Many gentle parents may say that they have expectations, yet not by my definition. Expectations are a form of entitlement on the part of a parent, meaning adult power and control.

The Tenth Commandment says in Exodus 20:17 KJV:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neigbour's.

The Hebrew word translated "covet" is לחמוד (Latin: lachmod) and refers not merely to wanting something from a child, but wanting something, or wanting children to do things for you, in a way that leads to said want being imposed on the child, leading to child abuse in the form of a child taking offense. 

The Greek root word cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to the entitled attitude of "I am the parent here, and I want my child to meet expectations" leading to defensive, punitive, or controlling behavior when they don't, which counts as a temper tantrum. If you are asking a child of something that you'll blow out over when they don't listen, don't ask, period. Do it for them and bite the pride that you need to shed.  

It is okay to ask a child to do something, but what if they don't listen? Whose fault is that? It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable trust in the love and grace of parents, being able to be oneself in relation to parents and confide in them about anything, owing parents nothing in return, but nonetheless with children showing gratitude hearing the voice of parents, knowing as a fact what is expected of them taking into account immature development, leading to children imprinting on the voice of their father or mother, and listening in the security and shelter of parents and their reassuring voice. A parent's voice should not be threatening, but reassuring in a familiar way, in a way that gains on you and pulls you in the right direction. This is denoted by the concept of Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to conviction from God, leading to submission to the every vulnerable need of a child as their enemy, seeking to be their friend, guilty for existing in relation to children, paying due penance for one's wretched ignorance and capacity to harm in relation to children, sacrificing oneself just like Christ sacrificed for His children, rendering oneself beneath a child, devaluing oneself as a servant and caregiver of children, leading to good works for children, expecting absolutely nothing in return. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offense system, meaning torts and damages under Jewish law, including assault and battery laws that were extended to children too in terms of protection. In the context of the New Testament, it is summed up after Christ as the slightest of offense taken by a child towards entitled adult behavior.

The underlined text in the paragraph above is the core of why Christian parents of the attachment variety shouldn't expect things from children, but should prefer children do certain things by asking, and them listening out of instinctive courtesy, with children trusting that parents mean well and won't punish or lash out at them either way. I don't expect anything from a child, since I am wicked by my very nature and deserve non-compliance and even defiance merely for existing as their tormentor and oppressor as an adult...This means asking a child to do a favor like you'd ask a friend to go buy you a sandwich at the corner deli. If you have a good relationship with your child, your child will listen or else provide a good reason why they can't, in words or in behavior.

Children in biblical times had no expectations, but were simply infantilized in a good way, meaning children's needs and cries out of nowhere were seen as cries for something. If it was attention-seeking behavior, the child was lavished with attention from parents, with the child allowed to express emotion to parents as safe people. Children, however, could be asked to do something for mom or dad, and they'd do it without questioning or minimal questioning to clarify what was asked of them. Asking things of a child is perfectly acceptable, but expect contention if they don't like what is being asked, in which case gently reasoning in a reassuring and convincing manner would be necessary. Sometimes, you just need to do it for them, because they are that oblivious of why they need to do something due to immature emotional and/or cognitive development.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn! Let them be tormented and languish forever in the lake of burning fire and brimstone, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his angels! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!