Respect in parenting - Why it is earned

 Many parents abuse their children, meaning most according to statistical research into child maltreatment. 94% of parents commits acts of domestic battery against their children, and 1/3 might be violating the civil laws when doing so. New laws are being put in place to strengthen physical abuse laws for children, with striking a child under age 1, whereas 30% of parents have firsts truck their child by age 1.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the care, support, and protection of parents, being able to say anything when confiding into parents, being able to be themselves when in the providing custody of their parents, owing nothing in return to parents, but listening nonetheless not out of fear, but out of trust parents. It is a respect that empowers you to shout at your mother and say anything, and your input is valid and treated as such, even if met with a word "no" and an explanation.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, centering oneself next to a child by way of exemplary teaching of children, by way of parents disciplining themselves and chastening themselves up, being your child's best friend, but in a centered, disciplined way that involves the parent listening and validating the child's upsets. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the admonition of the Lord, meaning God's Loving Reproof. This simply means stating the word "no" every once in a blue moon, when absolutely necessary, or the word's various variants in negotiation format. Setting a boundary should be like setting a limit for a friend, such as turning down your friend's request to borrow $1,000 so they can fix their car, because you know in advance that your friend is unreliable and disorganized, so you just say "nope, not giving you any money, because I know I won't get any back". With children, you have to be nicer, but speak to them like any adult friend that you are setting boundaries with, but on their level linguistically. The admonition of the Lord is weighed out by the language "provoke...to anger", which is translated by the Greek root word παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and is one of the Greek words in the New Testament that refers to the offenses, meaning the torts and damages under the Law connected to the Eighth Commandment, which included assault and battery torts even for children. In the New Testament, all this was summed up as the slightest of personal slights against a child, stemming from controlling or punitive entitlement. Punishment was only acceptable in a judicial setting, and only for adults. Punishing children at all then was illegal, and that is only implicitly mentioned in the Law, or the first five books of Moses, and in the Greek "pull up" words, because corporal punishment wasn't the custom of Hebrew parents. Closeness and attachment were Jewish norms in parenting then, and that is repeated in the New Testament in 

In Christian homes in the Early Church, Hebrew parenting traditions were attachment-based in nature, as Ancient Israel was attachment parenting country, meaning obedience as a value was expressed in that culture as a form of closeness to parents, even from afar, where you listened instinctively to parents, not out of fear of punishment, but because you trusted parents closely enough that you instinctively listened to them, and heeded instruction accordingly. It was an instinct that was part of secure attachment in a child.

Parents had a close relationship with their children that was not litigious in nature, and involved closeness and an ability to share one's true self, to the vulnerable level, with parents, knowing you won't be punished for anything. Co-sleeping was the norm in ancient Jewish culture, as was holding even fairly older children on one's back or front as a mother. Children as old as age 3 were seen as infants, and treated as such, including things like tantrums and meltdowns.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them BURN in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, suffering the second death for all eternity, in the place created for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!