Honor thy father and mother - Understanding the commandment from its context

 Many parents abuse their children, and the main biblical excuse for that is the Fifth Commandment, meaning the commandment to honor parents. I honor my parents, but only because they earned my honor. My mother does so much for me, and it is a myth entirely that I hate her. My views on respecting parents is that respect is earned.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land that the LORD hath given thee.

This commandment ends the Caananite tradition of human sacrifice, which meant usually sacrificing your child to the god Molech, which was one of the divine statutes from God directed towards that cultural context. The Fifth Commandment changed the legal view of children from property of parents to wards of parents entrusted in their custody by the Israelite government. Execution of a child by a parent was allowed, but had to go through rigorous due process, and only as a sentence for a crime. It says in Deuteronomy 21:18-21 KJV:

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious child, which will not obey the voice of his father or his mother, and that, when they chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and mother lay hold onto him, and bring him up to the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elder, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of the city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

This was one of the hardest moral crimes to prove under the Mosaic Law. Note the language "This our son is stubborn and rebellious, a glutton and a drunkard". These refer to specific counts that amount to criminal activity, such as pillaging sprees, wild drunkenness and orgies, and other delinquent behavior. This statute was never used in full, meaning parents did make allegations, but they were forced by family members and the community to recant their allegations against their child, as the community took the side of their child, and simply said "he must have learned it somewhere".

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

This passage described the doctrine of mutual submission, cross-referencing the Fifth Commandment and then adding a commandment referencing biblical offenses against children. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in relation to parents. It is caring about parents enough to shout in their face, or worse, when you are frustrated with a situation, and you are grateful later, perhaps painfully, when they just take it. It is being able to be open and honest to parents about anything, tell them anything about yourself, owing absolutely nothing in relation to parent, listening to parents out of gratitude out of their supply of one's every need, including attachment needs, feeling safe and grateful enough to demand more, knowing no demand is met with a punishment. Only a decline, perhaps. This stems from Christian love towards ones child, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to submission to the child's every need as their enemy, seeking to be their friend, sacrificing for their child, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, rendering themselves beneath children, devaluing oneself as a servant for one's child, with one's child extended to parents by God to care for, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Children are among the "least of these" (Matt. 19:14; 25:31-46).

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and is one of the Greek words referencing the offenses in the Mosaic Law, namely assault and battery torts that extended to children then. This is summed up today in the New Testament as the slightest of personal slights perceived by the children.

Attachment parenting was the normative form of parenting in ancient Hebrew culture. The Christ child was depicted as wearing swaddling clothes (Luke 7:2). That refers to clothing bands that holds the child to the mother's bosom, and this was the custom for children as old as age 3. This is symbolic of how close ancient Hebrew, as well as Early Christian parents - mothers in particular - were close to their children. The application today is the notion that every child has special needs, not just a few, and that parents are to submit and attend to the child's every need, including attachment needs. This means all benign wants are also needs, and if a parent is simply too lazy to get up and attend to their child, they are guilty of abuse just for saying "no". Benign deprivation is abuse, as children always need their needs listened to and validated. This plays out like a friendship, in terms of setting limits. Think when your friend wants to borrow $2,000 to buy a new car, but you want to delay it because you need to pay the bills. Setting limits with children in the modern world is just like that, with any degree of closeness to ensure that your child trusts you enough to take the denial of want well. No need is to be denied, ever. 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! They will be sentenced for their moral crimes by the Lord by way of the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!