Why adults should admit their risk to children

 How rampant is child abuse in this country? Child abuse is whatever the child perceives as such, coming from entitled intent. All adults have done something to harm children, and all adults must admit to their abuse towards children. How so?

Every single adult is guilty for their mere existence in relation to children, as all have done harm and/or protected harm at some point within their lifetime. The problem isn't that parents aren't too hard on themselves, generally, but too easy on themselves in an entitled way. This is a high plane type of entitlement usually, meaning one that keeps children down in a compress. All adults are guilty for their existence over a certain age for enacting this compress.

Children have been put in a ditch by adults, and thus we must flip the scripts, and put adults in the ditch. It's called pro-social submission, in child format, meaning that's who you submit to - your child. Parents and adults are to submit to the every vulnerable need of a child as her enemy, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and submits to Him accordingly. Parents are to love their child, and sacrifice for her as Christ sacrificed for his children, giving everything up in the form of love and grace, sacrificing themselves in a position below their child, humbling themselves shamefacedly before their child, becoming attendant servants for their child, expecting absolutely nothing in return, being grateful for your child in everything. This is Christian love for one's own child, and is an act of service known by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). Love for your child is submission to and sacrifice for their needs, meaning an action and not merely a feeling. Any flawed human emotion can be turned into love, but only by the power of the Holy Spirit, guiding personal choice.

In reality, what loving your child means is admission of one's sin nature in relation to children, leading to positive change in behavior towards children. The concept of adult privilege/entitlement over children is denoted in the Bible in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure surrender and rest in the care and protection of parents, feeling safe in an open manner, allowing the lamp that is parents to shine through you, opening you up to complete pro-social honesty towards parents, so you can tell them about struggles most people wouldn't understand. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages, namely the slightest of personal slights perceived by a child victim, to the level of din, coming from a place of entitlement. Entitlement denotes the Tenth Commandment, and is cross-referenced in the New Testament by the Greek root word translated πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to the attitude of "I am a good parent/adult, and so children (and others) should respect me" leading to demanding, controlling, punitive, or sexually objectifying or spousifying attitudes towards children. It is not only wanting things from a child, but wanting things to the point of seeking to impose said want on a child, leading to the provocation to anger, meaning the perceived abuse from the child...Parenting in ancient Israel was attachment-based in nature, with mothers especially being close to their children, not leaving her side except to range close by.

Punishment, in the Bible, was only acceptable towards adults, in a judicial setting. All of the rod verses in Proverbs and Hebrews refer to judicial corporal punishment. Think getting the cane in some Middle Eastern country, only it was imposed rarely - once in a few decades in a settlement - and only as a last warning before the offender was put to death. Children could not be charged with a crime under Jewish law, as there was an age of infancy. The commandment for righteous judgment in John 7:24 lifts up all the righteous judgment requirements as understood in the Early Christian context. Children were judged in a non-binding manner, setting non-violent and non-punitive boundaries rarely in verbal format, while otherwise teaching either by example or reading the Law to an older boy. Punishing a child at all, meaning even touching them without their permission or another parent's permission was unclean, and shouting at a child and losing one temper was banned as a fit of anger. Interrogating children like adults was seen as unlawful anger because children were exempt under the law, as they aren't yet brethren in Christ. Thus, they cannot be judged morally legally and need to gently be taught.

Most all adults have violated these anti-abuse commands from God. The Apostle Paul was convicted, when writing this, that punishing children was wrong, and that's what he means whenever he mentions "provoke...to anger". He, in vs. 20-21, is referring to children acting as a mirror to your attitudes towards them, meaning the more you try to control them, the more they try to control you back, sometimes so they assert unmet needs, and sometimes just to get back at adults - because they feel that constrained, that smothered, and that frightened. With a child who has autism and/or bipolar disorder in particular, this is easy to recognize - I have a dual diagnosis of both, and when an adult would slap me, I slapped them back, wanting the upper hand over my parents...And that's when my parents went back to the drawing board, and then started using positive, attached parenting methods to relate to me. The 

Apostle Paul, despite having a reputation for being flawed (albeit in a reformatory manner), most likely was never pro-spanking, and most certainly opposed the practice, as that was seen as an idolatrous practice then, of Greco-Roman origin, and was imposed on "unchaste" adolescent girls to "purify" them. Jewish law only allowed for whipping adults, and only in the Old Testament legal context.

Attachment parenting is based on the idea that you are your child's friend, and also that independence is more important than blind obedience in children. In ancient Israel, as well as the Early Church, independence was valued, but with parents being safe people to go to when being independent was too much. It ultimately, however, is about a friendship where you admit you know nothing about your child's perspective or life, meaning you are there to listen to and validate them, and not judge. It doesn't have to be "forcing physical intimacy" and anything like that is not attachment parenting, but abuse. My mother actually practices attachment parenting geared to my individual emotional needs as someone with autism.

Ultimately, a sign of an attachment parent is one that takes parenting advice from their child's self-advocacy. These are safe adults to be around children. These adults will also admit that they are capable of harm, at least emotional harm, towards their child in a weak moment. All adults are, and children, when they are being defiant, show your defiance against their needs, in which case, making amends, including through non-verbal apology, equalizes the friendship, so that children can be close to parents, and cooperative with their instruction, not out of fear, but instead near blind trust that a parent won't hurt you in any way. The more punitive you are, the less your child trusts you, and the less they will listen. Being less punitive means admitting that you are capable of harm, and are harming your child, thus admitting you were born in sin as an adult, and need to repent and turn away from the abuse you impose on your child. Love admits its guilt remorsefully.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them ROT! Let them BURN! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!