Most parents in the United States abuse children. What is the number one cause of child abuse in the United States? Lack of "deserved" respect. Respect parents is a command in the Bible, but mainly for parents. Honor thy father and mother might not be applicable, as the context shows, if your parents won't honor you.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Father, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to respect in the form of secure, vulnerable rest and trust in parents, meaning a blind trust where you can tell parents anything, including things that incur persecution or abuse from others, with children owing nothing in return to parents. This compliance and cooperation should be a result of Christian love for a child, namely by sacrificing for one's child as Christ sacrificed for His children, giving himself up without expecting absolutely nothing in return. It is submission to the child's best interests as her enemy, earning to be her friend, just as mankind is the enemy of God and has offended God for merely existing, and thus should pay due penance accordingly. Parenting is paying penance for even having any power or control in relation to children, which every single adult has in relation to children to some degree, and every single adult has abused a child or enabled an abuser of children, at some point in their lives.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stir up" and refers, in context literally, to the offenses, namely here offenses against children. The Apostle Paul is telling parents, namely fathers of Greek descent, who had habits of punishing their children, that punishment was not allowed under Jewish law. The Law was followed by Jewish-Christians at the letter of the Law, in terms of requirements, whereas gentile Christians followed the Law by the spirit of the Law, meaning love God, love your neighbor, and don't offend either of them, with everything else playing out. Anything disrespectful to a child was seen as offending your neighbor, and thus child abuse.
A parent who is disrespectful does not deserve respect. A key part of Christian obedience to children is choice to listen to parents, spurred on by a secure attachment to parents. In such an attachment, parents serve as a shelter to children, enabling children to listen to the instructions of parents in response to a parent's providence and respect for the child. Basically, the child chooses on their own to listen to parents, without parents demanding such in response to their gentle, non-violent treatment of children. It is not a reverent respect of parents, but a close feeling towards a parent where you are connected at the hip, and your parent is your best friend, being able to talk to them about anything. That's all that attachment parenting is, and at the same time, this is what the Bible means by respecting parents. Parents need to respect their children, in order to earn respect from their children.
The parents who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the everlasting fire of Hell, meaning the second death prepared for Satan and his angels on the very last day. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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