Why discipline is for parents, not children (pro-social behaviorism, in self-applied parent format)

 Many parents support the concept of discipline, usually meaning controlling children. This thinking is the norm, as is the abuse that is motivated by this thinking. Discipline is an important part of my Christian faith, but not as something to impose on children.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; May it be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, as an example handed down to children from parents, meaning exemplary teaching, as well as instructional teaching based on Socratic reasoning, giving children the ability to question their parents, and think for themselves. Parents were to have self-control around children, in order to teach them self-control and self-discipline, while having a secure parent-child bond with both parents, in different roles. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to setting limits and boundaries, meaning the occasional word "no" backed up by mutual trust and submission.

This refers to self-behaviorism, basically punishing and rewarding yourself in relation to the child, instead of punishing and rewarding the child, while having a good parent-child bond that motivates the child to follow in the parent's footsteps. This involves the parents sacrificing for their children just as Christ sacrificed for His children, meaning pro-social self-crucifixion - the parent would give everything up, and pay the ultimate price, for their child, and not demand anything in return from the child, as the Greek root word referring to obedience is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to a form of surrender to parents where the child is given their every vulnerable need, as an enemy, with parents admitting their risk and ignorance towards children, deserving nothing from children. Children owe nothing in return for the good service from their parents.

Discipling oneself often involves self-punishment. It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye hath forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whomever the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons, for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, not sons.

The Greek root word denoting chastisement is the same here, παιδεία. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγοω (Latin: mastigoό) and literally refers to the rod of correction, referring to Proverbs and the Old Testament Law. This, in ancient Jewish culture, was a symbol of authority, much like a judge's gavel and the scales of justice. It was rarely, if ever, applied to adult children in the Old Testament, and never to minor children, as minor children were exempt from criminal prosecution in both the Old and New Testaments. Basically, this refers to the Holy Spirit disciplining Christian parents in a way that is punitive towards oneself, yet shields and shelters the child from punishment. An example might be that when you get thoughts of hurting your child, torment yourself about the consequences - think of your child crying in agony and fear, and then know YOU caused it and are responsible, then imagine the otherworldly consequences of such violent retribution against a child (if you believe in Hell). Such aversive imagery should shock parents into not punishing their child, and lead to the conscious and willful choice to overpower one's instincts to strike and punish a child, instead centering and depleting that anger.

It's called by therapists and psychologists "thinking it through to the end". The idea is to get a deep breaths before the spanking, but with the goal of it never happening. It is being fearfully convicted of the harm of such depraved parental misconduct and abuse, knowing what one is capable of as a parent, mapping it out, and then retracting the scope and capability of the harm through "I am evil" hourglass conditioning. You come to know just how wicked and depraved your nature is, and then are duly convicted to then treat children with respect. In vs. 4, the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages imposed upon the child, namely the slightest of personal slights perceived by the child from an adult perpetrator, imposed willfully or recklessly. Violating this commandment is hating children, and disrespecting them as well. If one simply is stating limits, and saying "no", their ticket out is an apology and validating reassurance, out of compassionate empathy for the child's feelings.

I myself punish myself in relation to children, and when it reaps rewards, such as better attitudes towards children, that is a blessing. The idea is to be the disciplined, respectful person you want your child to be. That means show respect to others around them, meaning everyone else in their life and your life. If you want respect from a child, show it, or else you blow it with them, and they don't want to respect you. Punishing a child isn't what you need to do - punishing yourself is what is necessary, and then showing grace and love towards your child, giving them their every need and benign want. 

Let the depraved and entitled parents burn and rot in Hell! Let them burn, and languish in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, suffering the second death! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!