.Many parents demand respect from children, and punish children for disrespect. Many of these parents cite the Bible as support for lawful abuse of their children. The reality is that respect for parents in a Christian home is a necessity, but when it isn't achieved by the child, blame falls on the parents, dishonoring them.
It says in Ephesians 6:1-3 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; May it be well with thee, and may you live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to submission without yielding to legal authority, meaning surrendering to the care of parents out of blind trust and secure attachment and refers to a state where you can tell parents anything, and you listen to them not out of fear and reverence, but blind trust, meaning you KNOW that they will never harm you or abuse you, and you want parents to like you. If my mom stopped trusting me, that would be devastating. It is a surrender without conditions in return.
The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the self-discipline and self-control in the parent, as discipline is for the parents to learn, and the child to emulate, and parents for children to vent their big emotions to, with this known as co-regulation. This is basically a child out of control, and a stoic, calm, yet gentle adult listening, validating concerns, and possibly giving non-binding advice. Instead of imposing behaviorism on the child, impose behaviorism on yourself. However, children need to hear the word "no" once and a while. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) refers to the symbolic rod of correction, which is a non-binding judgment line - therapeutic/clinical judgment - with the larger prong directed towards positive encouragement, namely "I see you" statements such as "I see you getting along with your little sister" but while leaving out the "good job!" which I'd say to a dog instead. Sometimes, you need to set down limits and boundaries with children, and draw a line in the sand, gently and without violence, punishment, or other parental entitlement.
Parenting in ancient Hebrew culture was attachment-based, with children being very close to their mother, with co-sleeping being acceptable while the child was still living under the parents' roof. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζω (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages under Jewish law, which, in the Christian context, can be summed up as the slightest of personal slights to the child, to the level of the senses, meaning the slightest thing you say to a child to make them cry is abuse if you had controlling or punitive intent, which is the moral crime of entitlement leading up to the abuse. Punishment was only allowed in a courtroom setting, and the age of infancy specifically stated that anyone under the age of majority could not be charged with a crime.
Parents are not entitled to respect from children. They aren't entitled to anything from children. I respect and honor my parents, but that's because they turned themselves around, including my father. Other parents in this country, under biblical law, are not deserving of respect from their children, and their children don't look up to their parents for comfort and grace, but out of fear of punishment, even as adults. We have way too many entitled adults in this country, thinking they can order a child around just because you are the adult. Parents today need to get a grip, and stop complaining about how the whole world "hates" and "vilifies" parents, asking for mollycoddling because "parenting is hard". Give me a break. Yeah, that's how I really feel about parents, not hyped up.
Let them burn is more like it. Let them languish in eternal torrents of suffering! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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