Many people think the Bible commands parents to being in charge of their children, and to order them around. However, this view of parenting is not biblical. Parents are to submit to their children if they seek submission in return. Mutual submission, in parenting, involves both parents and children alike, but starts with parent.
The Greek root word translated "love" is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to a form of submission, namely a convicted one that recognizes its depraved, wicked, and entitled nature, knowing that one is deserving of DEATH and PUNISHMENT merely for existing in relation to a child, leading to bondservice and indentured servitude towards one child, with said child being extended by God for care and protection.
I myself am in Hell serving God, imprisoned in a world created not for me but for Satan. Hell here means not predestined for Hell, but the opposite in terms of location, all the while paying off my debts to children for my mere sinful existence as a sexually entitled adult who struggles with sexual/behavioral entitlement. Gentle parenting theology helps me set limits with children, because I now know I shouldn't appease a child, and try to butter them up. Permissiveness is not wanting the child to hate you, to the point where you give them whatever they want. Once must have the courage to "withstand the storm", so to speak. I couldn't even bring myself to be angry at a child in that state - too vulnerable. I now know I can simply wait it out while reassuring and validating the child's emotions.
It says in Colossians 3:20 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged,
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender coming from adult surrender to children, meaning surrender of authority to children, knowing one's power and control inherent of being an adult, and submitting to the every vulnerable need of a child, assuming nothing about the child, expecting absolutely nothing in return. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to legal damages, namely the slightest of offense perceived by a child, such as from any punishment or control whatsoever. The rod of correction was figurative in parenting, and two-sided - the larger rod was for encouragement of good behavior, and the lesser rod prescribed non-binding verbal limits and boundaries. The word "no" only matters to a child if they trust you in not punishing them, and also when complete denial of childhood requests is rare, with compromise being more likely.
Children are an extension of God, and are to be seen as such, with adults being the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and is to atone for his inherent status as such. It says in Matthew 25:31-46 KJV:
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye, Inasmuch as ye have done it as much unto the least of these my brethren, ye did it unto me. Then say he say unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil or his angels.
If you offend or abuse a child, you do the same to God. Christ made Himself vulnerable, and died a harrowing death for His children. Christ appeared to his Jewish nation not as a tall, charismatic figure, but a very vulnerable one in terms of appearance - the type people wouldn't expect to be the Son of God. Children are judges over adults, namely how they treat adults, and play the role of judge and jury in that regard, putting adults in their place...Love is submission. Love is sacrifice. Parents are to submit to and sacrifice themselves for their child, leading to them accepting their child, and their child respecting them.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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