Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; And mayest thou live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender and rest in the love and grave of parents, with the Greek root word for love being αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to an action, not an emotion, and one which can come from any emotion, no matter how sinful. It is being convicted of your sin nature, and then prompted to provide, care for, and protect a child, expecting absolutely nothing in return. However, children most always reciprocate, and give respect back to their parents, when said parents are respectful.
Parents are to sacrifice for their children, being completely shut up and selfless, in a way that allows for childish selfishness, creating a sanctuary for children to be who they are, with parents taking up the cross for their children, lowering themselves to a level lower than their child, giving themselves up just as Christ did for His children, turning themselves into their child's lawful authority as to their needs, just as Christ turned Himself into the Roman authorities, giving Himself up completely, and parents willing to give themselves up completely, claiming no rights of their own, but bestowing all rights and civil liberties to their children, being a bondservant and indentured servant to their children, paying penance to their children merely for existing. Pro-social self-sacrifice, pro-social self-crucifixion. Then, children notice your sacrifice, and they thank you by listening and respecting you back in the same way, to the level they are capable of given their developmental level.
All this sacrifice leads to discipline in the parent, and then modeled to the child, with said discipline being denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, meaning the more you sacrifice yourself for your child, the more disciplined and self-controlled you become. You become less cranky, and more content. It is like God molding your intent towards children, but in a comforting way that is convicting in putting me in my place. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to verbal correction, meaning setting limits and boundaries with children, with the word "no" being the key form of correction for any child, and not backed up by any punishment, as any punishment outside a legal setting was illegal, and Jewish law rendered striking your child for any reason to be unclean and a damage, namely physical or emotional battery. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages, weighing what is acceptable as discipline, meaning whatever personal slights the child perceived, further weighed by intent. Any intent to control, demand, or punish, is considered entitlement.
Parental entitlement is denoted by the Greek root word translated πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers not only to wanting something from a child, but wanting to the point of imposing said want onto a child, meaning perhaps forcing them to do anything you want them to do, and perhaps backing it up with punishment or menace. That is controlling, and a Christian lifestyle is all about letting go, and letting God solve things, as you cannot control your children, but only influence them. If you are kind and respectful from the very beginning, or sometime later when apologizing, you will have a stronger influence on them than the outside world will. Parental entitlement is something to avoid, with Christian parents living against the word πλεονέκτης. Adults, including myself, are not entitled to anything from children, and a child owes nothing to me as an adult. Parental entitlement must be erased from this earth, with parents turning their protective anger against themselves, as I have, as all gentle parents have...And that's the problem with parents - it isn't that they protect too much, but that they simply don't protect their children. Not all threats are external. We all are capable of abusing a child under the wrong conditions.
Parents and children are to submit to each other, and respect each other. Let the depraved and entitled parents who demand free stuff from children burn and rot in Hell! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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