What is my relationship with God? I am a devout non-denominational Christian conservative, and former atheist. What do I think when I think of being atheist? Nothing. Nothing to comment on, but everything I did and thought then. Questioning the divine, in an exploratory, nervous way. I had a guilty conscience THEN, towards a specific part of the Bible - the rod verses.
Belief in God is giving meaning to nothing, from a purely visceral level, in various ways. I often see God as distant, but setting up the events in my life. I often notice that something happens in my life that is somewhat monumental, and God foreknew it all, like predestined fate.
I'm happy believing in God. It is a feeling of protection, like a pro-social protection racket, in a world that hates children, and doubts the every existence of my trauma. There is Divine Justice for children, meaning the perpetrator against every single child, including lawfully abused child, will be dealt with, either in this world, or the next.
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