Child sexual abuse: A crime of ignorance (yet no excuse nonetheless)

 Many abuser defenders will say that pedophiles abuse out of ignorance, so "we need lighter sentences, and more therapy". More therapy? Absolutely. Lighter sentences? Insulting. I have pedophilic disorder, and I do believe it is a crime of ignorance, but not at all along the lines of a "delusion" or "psychosis". Nope, locational recklessness due to lack of parent and caregiver information and support.

Have you ever lashed out at your child when really were thinking about all the bills due, and how the boss hates you. You could have easily chosen a different route, but your parenting views then caused you to rationalize that striking a child "out of love". That is what it is like to be a predatory pedophile. It is that level of impulsivity. Yes, no excuse.

It is a driven feeling that you do have limited control over. Such a drive cocoons you next to the child, with the entitled intent of antisocial "affection". You are drawn to a child target, and because you have no or limited knowledge telling you that it is wrong, you do it anyway..."Anyway" means I could have simply educated myself on child development here and with my therapist sooner. It is a learning process, where you learn by trial and error, guided by a therapist, that sexual abuse of a child is wrong.

Mental health rights are earned rights, due to the volatile nature of mental illness in general. Mental illnesses, under this system, are classified into two groups - responsible or irresponsible. Many people stereotype pedophiles as having an irresponsible mental illness. Such is an excuse, by far. It is a responsible mental illness. You rarely have to go to a psychiatric hospital for pedophilia alone, except to be cornered by law enforcement in a police investigation. Most of the time, pedophilia can be treated in-patient, in a trauma-informed therapy setting.

I have earned my rights as a pedophile to treatment and understanding from the community. I don't go around raping children, looking up child pornography, or defending my "rights" to sex with children. I want support and accountability for a mental illness instead, and thus I have earned my pedophile rights. They could be taken away any time I misuse the disorder to abuse a child. Pedophile rights are mental health rights, and mental health rights are pedophile rights.

I don't want to be quarantined or hospitalized if I abuse a child in any way. Lock me up, and throw the book at me. There are much more difficult things to deal with in terms of mental illness (for the sufferer) than being drawn to an individual who isn't for you. 

So an abuser was "in the wrong room, at the wrong time, and then something happened?" Why were you even there in the first place? Why were you even in that house? Why are you even a parent (in the case of incest)? It's called personal responsibility, and abusers lack it. Pick yourself up, get your rear end out of there, and cut off the friendship. That simple. Even most pedophiles can do it just fine...I don't even get in such situations.

Drawn, in a driven way. Those are how my impulses are, and they are a temporary fixation. Just like you may be drawn and driven to dissociate from stress by punishing a child as a parent. The only difference is that it isn't a punishment for the child, but a form of spousification/parentification that places her in an adult caregiver role (adultification), in a cocooning fashion ("you are the only one that understands. Everyone else hates me"). The point of pointing out motives has nothing to do with the child or her actions, but the fact that sexual abuse can be motivated by ordinary parental stress.

I myself grew up in a punitive home, of the authoritative variety, with spankings, time-out, and loss of privileges being staple punishments of my time. I went in the other direction instead of following the cycle directly, and grew permissive. Gentle parenting is NOT permissive, but instead egalitarian/child-centered. In my case, permissiveness is sexual/behavioral entitlement. It's an entitlement where you want to appease your child like some king or queen, and don't want them to ever be mad at you, and so you give them whatever they want, with the "sexual" part indicating that it is a manifestation of a diagnosis/self-diagnosis of pedophilic disorder. It is a situational narcissist, with mine being the anxious/avoidant type (common with pedophiles). I had a phobia, at a low level, of children being harmed and abused by adults. So, when a young girl - among the group of people I was protecting! - smiled at me and showed interest, I was wooed and wanted to appease her. I didn't want her angry with her at all. As for adults? I don't care what you think of me, as no adult is indispensable...I literally couldn't bring myself to say "no" to a child. Now I can, and that is because now I know that I am not entitled to anything from a child. Not even respect. Not even them liking me. I want them to like me, and if they hate me instead, I scramble as to know what to do to fix the situation. These days, being here, I have more tools than before, so I don't have to allow children to have no limits. I now feel confident enough to set limits and boundaries without punishment. I'll never have the guts to punish a child to back up a limit. I fall asleep when children behave in an erratic or aggressive manner, or at least want to - I can't get mad. At all.