Childhood bipolar disorder: How to discipline your actively bipolar child

Many parents think that their child is simply a "bad kid" when they act oppositional and defiant. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, oppositional and defiant behavior, when severe enough, is a sign of childhood bipolar disorder. All they need is medication to be well. But, what does a parent do until then? The answer involves catching your bipolar child being good, and then praise them for it.

Child discipline is spelled out in the Bible in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Punitive measures do not work with children with bipolar disorder, with this being true about all children, but especially those suffering from bipolar disorder. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing not to spank a bipolar child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking these children, or even stopping all punishment for that matter. You need to avoid offense in your bipolar disorder. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in all children when dealing with them, but especially children with bipolar disorder. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment ultimately was received as prohibiting offenses in children, as perceived by the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

There are ways to discipline your bipolar child without punitive measures. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific type of nurturing, namely of the teaching sort. Christian parents in the Early Church looked for preferred behaviors in children, and when those behaviors showed in the child, the child was lavishly praised and encouraged to keep up the good work. This method of discipline works well with any child, but when a child has bipolar disorder, it is literally the only thing that works. A bipolar child literally cannot be stopped using punishment, and cannot learn from their mistakes. But, they do respond to spontaneous praise when caught being good. 

Children with bipolar disorder have their good days, and then they have their bad days. They are prone to keep it together some of the time, and other times, they want to keep it together but cannot. Whenever you see your bipolar child keep it together, praise them lavishly and encourage them to keep up the good work. They won't keep it together perfectly without medication, but they will be more likely to do the hard work of trying to keep it together.

Bipolar children cannot function fully without medication. If your child is acting disorderly and defiant to the extreme, your child is not a bad kid. Your child simply needs medicine for a brain disease. Most children benefit from mood stabilizers and/or antidepressants, starting in the teenage years. However, until then, children should be praised for keeping it together, as well as any other preferred behaviors that parents want to see; Children are not immune to mental illness. Any disorder found in adults can be found in children, including bipolar disorder, but also psychoses such as schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder.

I myself hold a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, with exclusively manic features. Punishment did not work at all to control me. I was punished for oppositional-defiant traits associated with my bipolar disorder. Most of my parents were looking for autistic behaviors, and ignored the fact that I had an emotional disturbance. I was suspended many times unjustly from school, when the behavior was a manifestation of my bipolar disability. Maybe a child with bipolar disorder does call out in school, but why fight that fight with them? Let them call out, and then when they do raise their hand, praise them for it. All you have to say is "Good work raising your hand this time. That's what we want." I was the schoolchild that would call out, then get kicked out of class, then fight the system. I ended up getting suspended for being defiant to the teacher. Why pick such fights with children? They are bound to raise their hand at some point, in which case you praise and encourage that behavior for more of the same. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their bipolar child to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!