Passing down the faith: How to instruct your child in the Lord without punishment or shaming

Many parents want their children to have religion. This is a common goal amongst American parents. However, most parents think religion is something to beat into a child, and otherwise, they supposedly won't be able to be religious. However, religion is a human need for children and adults alike, and thus children can be religious on their own. 

God's Law on passing down the faith is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

This stanza clarifies for the second that religious instruction should not hurt. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. The key here is to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults - be willing to give a meaningful apology to your child whenever you hurt their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary from parents is a reassurance of good intent, such as when a child cannot accept a limit not set out of anger. However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including when setting limits, you need to give a formal apology to your child for losing your cool with them, and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions for children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Religion in the Early Church was not beaten into children. This is because Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than today's parents that religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and is more aptly translated as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. Paul here is referring specifically to religious instruction here. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep studying, with fathers then saying to children "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children then were curious about Scripture, with fathers giving pointers on the context.

All too often, parents rush the religious development of their children. One example is forcing grateful postures with children. I tie my hands behind my back in public in order to stand out as the salt and light of the world, meaning the elect. Nobody made me do it. I came to that posture on my own. When you see your child tie their hand behind their back, know that they have reached perfection. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment. suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!