Positive reinforcement: The biblical application of positive reinforcement

Many parents believe in punishing children, with the norm being time-outs alongside the occasional spanking done "out of love". However, more parents are turning to positive reinforcement, but they usually do it wrong. The biblical model of positive reinforcement involves spontaneous positive reinforcement. 

God's Law states in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that discipline should not hurt, but nonetheless, children need discipline. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, any offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. The first stanza here says that you need to avoid punishment or harshness in parenting, which qualifies for the second stanza as to what discipline is accepted as the "nurture and admonition of the Lord". However, it isn't enough to avoid spanking or punishing children to impart discipline - you need to ideally avoid the slightest of offense perceived by a child. Whenever your discipline hurts a child, it counts as a perceived offense from a child. When you offend your child, you need to apologize. Most of the time, an informal apology works, but when you lose your cool with your child, you need to give a full apology along the lines of "I apologize for losing my cool with you" This segment of the commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias poteestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power of parents to impose punitive sanctions towards a child, such as spanking or other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

The second stanza of this commandment simply explains what discipline is acceptable, with the first stanza ruling out anything punitive with a child. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here, in context, to a specific type of nurturing, namely the teaching sort. Whenever children were caught being good, they were lavishly praised and encouraged children to keep up the good work. The idea is to look for behaviors that you want to encourage in your child, and when you see that behavior, reel the behavior out of your child through praise and encouragement. Parents imparted a good Christian example to their children, but backed it up with praise and encouragement, as opposed to punitive measures. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers here, in context, to the Christian warning of fathers. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement, alongside offers of "let me help you read that book". From there, religious instruction in a Christian household came in the form of question and answer format, with children being eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers as to the context. The pointers on the context was what was seen as the Christian warning from fathers. 

There are good ways and bad ways to impart positive reinforcement onto children. Any time a child needs to earn tokens or points is by default a form of child abuse, once the child is offended by not earning any tokens or points. Most of the time, children lose points for things such as crying or whining. Any time you deprive a child of a rewards in a rewards system, you offend the child, with any offense of children being child abuse once defended in open court.

Children are bound to get into conflict with each other. The idea is to wait until they solve their tiff themselves. Whenever children got along, they were given lavish praise and encouragement for more good behavior of the same. This praise and encouragement reeled out the good behavior such as siblings or classmates getting along.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!