Righteous pampering: Why God wants you to pamper and baby your children

Many parents hate even the appearance of pampering their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents instead want their children to learn hard lessons. However, the Bible, as understood in context, calls for a specific method of pampering and babying children.

Righteous pampering is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto the part of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for their children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works here refers to doing good things for children, meeting the child's every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

Righteous pampering does not mean just any old pampering, but pampering and babying your child in a certain specific way, using the context as a guidepost. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers when at home, either in her loving arms, or else on her back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers when at home, following mom from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed the need before meeting it. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Whatever the child needed, they got it. When mothers and children under age 6 were out and about in public, mom wrapped up the child next to the her bosom in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - being tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to parents in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping warmth happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which was when most children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup helped facilitate easy skin-on-skin sustaining warmth, with children experiencing rays of skin-on-skin contact even when the child was merely picked up. 

Older children - past age 6 - were allowed to play freely outside, naked. Children growing up in the Early Church engaged in wet and messy play. When children played outside, they explored the terrain, venturing farther and farther from home, perhaps playing high-risk games such as marriage, or else simply getting in mud battles. However, children needed to check in with mom first, and tell mom where they were going. Come evening, children were called home, one by one, and were treated to a nice, warm homecooked dinner, after being cleaned up by mom with a handrag. Then, children hopped into the family bed, and recharged next to mom for another day's play.

Children under age 6 were very much protected in the Early Church, in a sheltered way. This was because of environmental hazards such as venomous snakes and scorpions, with there being no antivenom then. Even today, there exist threats to children, namely oncoming cars and would-be kidnappers. A child under age 6 is too young to appreciate these threats, and so they left the home seldom, and even then, only when swaddled to the bosom of mothers. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!