Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior in children

Many parents think that crying is bad behavior. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish children merely for crying. However, the fact of the matter is that crying is not bad behavior, and instead is a means of self-advocating a need.

Tending to crying in a child is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your child in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest  in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for their children, with children resting in the good works of parents. Good works here refers to doing good things for your child, namely meeting the child's every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return.  See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke....to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments. reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses, stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Crying is not a way that children "undermine" parents. All cries from children instead are a means to communicate a need. Whenever children growing up in the Early Church cried, mothers cooed before picking up the child, and from there, she diagnosed the need before meeting that need. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Whatever the child needed, they got it.

Cooing is a primal vocalization on the part of mothers, intended to put children at ease. Whenever the mother cooed at her children, they immediately had their cries pacified. Cooing simply tells children that they are heard, and that their voice matters. Usually, children growing up in the Early Church needed attachment with mom, in which case mammary closeness did the trick. 

There are five main categories of needs in children; food, water, shelter, transportation, and/or attachment - with the greatest of these needs being attachment! Whenever a child needed something, they cried out loud, with mom scrambling to find the need behind the cry. 

Children growing up in the Early Church did not throw massive temper tantrums like they do today. Instead, children simply cried out loud, and kept crying until the need in the child was met. The most common antecedent for tears in children was separation anxiety. Cries for attachment in children was a deathly, screeching cry that no loving mother could ignore. Today's children aren't allowed to feel in the way that they were allowed to back then.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent. for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!