Saturday, March 29, 2025

Righteous pampering: Why God wants parents to pamper and baby their children

Many parents think that pampering and babying children is the irresponsible choice. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, the fact of the matter is that God wants children to be pampered and babied by parents. 

Righteous pampering was part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to serve their children selflessly, just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages of offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Righteous pampering does not refer to any old pampering of a child, but to parents pampering and babying their children in a certain specific way. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness with mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child.  For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held, either in mom's loving arms, or else on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged beside mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever the child cried, mothers cooed at the child before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed the need and then met that need. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Whatever the child needed, they got it. Whenever children under age 6 were out and about with mothers, mom wrapped up the child next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - being tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin warmth happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which was when children usually wanted their own place to sleep. Children in biblical times went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup helped facilitate easy skin-on-skin sustaining warmth, with children experiencing the rays of skin-on-skin warmth even while being picked up. 

In biblical times, after children turned age 6, they played outside freely, naked. Children in biblical times engaged in wet and messy play. Children then travelled farther and farther from home, venturing the terrain. However, children had to check in with mothers before playing outside, to tell her where they were going. Come evening, children were called one by one, and were treated to a warm, homecooked meal cooked by mom, after being cleaned up by mom with a handrag.

Children under age 6 were protected, in a sheltered way. Children under age 6 rarely left the house, and that was largely due to environmental hazards that existed outside, with those hazards including venomous snakes and scorpions. Even today, there exist hazards outside, namely busy traffic and would-be kidnappers. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

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