Righteous ordering: Why parents are to heel to the commands of their children

Many parents think that they should call the shots when children want things. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents insist on calling the shots. However, the fact of the matter is that children are to issue commands, and parents are to heel to said commands.

Righteous ordering is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely on the part of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the slightest of damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Righteous ordering involves children issuing commands from their place of rest, and parents heeling to the commands of children. Under customary law, by default, parents were prohibited from saying "no" to a child. The only exception was when the commands coming from children were unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. Even when children were told "no", the disappointing news came in the form of reassurance and explanation.

Righteous ordering can be understood as akin to going to a restaurant. You can have it your way, but it has to be on the menu. Whenever an item is out of stock, the waitress is nice about it, even if you aren't. Being a Christian mother is like being a waitress, with that waitress waiting on children hand and foot. Ultimately, serving children was seen as serving God.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!