Christian attachment parenting: Why the Early Christians were attachment parents

Many parents think that attachment parenting is banned in the Bible. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents support punitive parenting, not knowing that the Bible commands attachment parenting, or at least endorses it.

The Bible is a founding document of this nation, even above the Constitution itself. We as a society glean for answers as to how to live from the Bible and its context. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to strike or punish a minor child. The rod in the Bible refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes, as the Hebrew word translated "child" is "na'ar" and refers to a young adult. The Hebrew word translated "son" is "ben" and refers to a mature adult son. The 40 minus 1 lashes were a once-in-a-lifetime event, with the whippings being a final warning before putting the adult son to death. 

Attachment parenting comes in the form of the doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy f ather and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context as a moral statute prohibiting all form of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved the children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to, in this context, gently melding the countenance of children. In light of the previous stanza, this melding of the countenance ultimately refers to one thing - lavishly praising and encouraging children when they were caught in the act of good behavior. Whenever children were caught in the act of being good, they were given praise and encouragement with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learn good behavior through the Christian example of parents. However, that good example is backed up by lavish praise and encouragement, as opposed to harsh punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover or explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statement such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what was in the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. Today, children can use the Internet to learn the facts of life, and when they present their religious knowledge, praise them on it. This religious instruction, alongside the praise and encouragement of fathers, is what centered the countenance of children. Centering the countenance of children is the Judeo-Christian standard of child discipline, not "breaking their will".

Children growing up in the Early Church were treated to attachment parenting from day one. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were constantly next to her mother, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child. For the latter half of childhood, children played freely outside. From there, children co-slept next to mothers in order to recharge for another day's play. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the family home - this nude setup is known as birth nudity, with the birth nudity of children helping to facilitate skin-on-skin closeness even when the child was merely picked up.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke not your children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!