Righteous submission: Why parents are to submit to their children

Many parents think that their children are to submit to them. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents believe that they love their children. But, do they really? Love is not a feeling, but instead is a verb. Christian love for your child can be understood in terms of righteous submission.

God's Word reads in Matthew 22:35-40 KJV:

Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law. Jesus said unto them, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and all thy soul, and all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

The Greek root word translated "love" is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in the context of parenting, full and dutiful submission towards a child just as one would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Love for a child is charity towards a child, meaning parents are to give without receiving. Parenting is supposed to be a thankless job, as no parent is deserving of praise just for existing. Parenting in biblical times was seen as bondservice for a lump sum, with that lump sum being when children are as independent as possible.

Children are to rest in the love and submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon. 

Righteous submission to children involves heeling to the command of a child. Most parents in the Early Church heeled to the command of their children, working so that children can have their rest in the love and submission of parents. The only way that a parent could lawfully say "no" to a child's command was when that command was unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. Even then, parents and children usually struck up a compromise, as opposed to a flat out "no".

Righteous submission can be understood in policing terms. Parents should give up the fight with their children, and give in to the command of their children. Christian parents in the Early Church were under the righteous command of their children, fearing children just as they would God. Sometimes, parents absolutely had to say "no", in which case the child was given an explanation and then a reassurance.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!