Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this isn't a pro-spanking passage

Many parents use punitive measures in order to punish their children. This is a common way for parents to deal with behaviors in their children. Most parents use Scripture as an excuse for punitive parenting, withe the core argument being Heb. 12:5-8. No such excuse exists in the Bible, when the Bible is understood in context.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scorgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? Bur if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, not sons.

This passage, when understood correctly, is a passage I find comforting in times of trouble. This passage was intended as comfort for the Hebrew Christians, who were facing persecution at the hands of Rome. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers figuratively to the 40 minus 1 lashes, with this form of figurative language in Ancient Greek being known as rod language. In the Ancient Greek, as spoken in the Early Church, you didn't say "I had a long day at work" but instead said "God whipped me hard today at work". The 40 minus 1 lashes was not a punishment in the Early Church, as Christ experienced corporal punishment unjustly.

God whips His children, like only He can. God, however, only whips His children when it helps them, sending trials and tribulations the way of the children He chose to adopt as His own. However, earthly parents only whip their children when it harms them. This passage only describes how God brings up His children. Due to the fact that earthly parents are not God, and can't punish without harming their children, earthly parents are to parent as comes natural, meaning attachment parenting. 

There does exist passages about earthly parenting in the Bible. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy fathers and mothers; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages and offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children showed good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - children were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good by fathers, whereas girls were given a kiss on the forehead when caught being good by fathers. Children needed religious instruction as well as discipline. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Fathers started out by leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught exploring Scripture, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what children saw in the Bible. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers giving pointers on the context. Religious development is a form of child development. When children are younger, their religious beliefs are simplistic and non-conforming to any sect or denomination. However, as children got older, they started to conform to a specific religious sect or denomination. It may not be what you would choose for them, but at least they have values.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their father? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of a child's life, they were constantly held, either in mom's arms, or else in a papoose bag on mom's back when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their sight, fearing that mom would "go away, and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at their children before picking them up and holding them next to her bosom, in mammary closeness. When mothers and children were out and about, the children were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers, while tucked under the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping lasting, in most cases, until the child reached the onset of puberty. Children were naked wherever they went, and mothers were naked within the confines of the family home. Children were allowed to play naked outside once they turned 6.

Mothers nurture from up close, whereas fathers nurture from afar. In the Early Church, fathers kept their distance from their children, especially during the first 6 years of childhood. Fathers kept their distance from children due to a sexual attachment with his children, namely his daughters. Fathers then were not allowed their "icing on the cake", and had to masturbate righteously in order to purge themselves of their parent attractions. Fathers nurtured in a teaching way, by way of praising and encouraging good traits in children. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!