Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior

Many parents think that crying past a certain age is bad behavior. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parents ignore crying, or else punish such behavior. However, the fact of the matter is that crying is developmentally appropriate behavior, at any age.

Allowing children to cry is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but, NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted for being "too soft" on children.

Crying was seen as normal behavior in biblical times. Whenever a child cried in biblical times, mothers cooed at children, before picking up the child. This comfort from mothers came in the form of skin-on-skin warmth and sustenance. Mothers went naked in the family home, and children were naked wherever they went. This nude setup facilitated more skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy with children, making closeness easier. This nude setup comes in the form of birth nudity, where mothers and children were quartered in the nude in the home, together.

A common way to deal with crying in milk-dependent children is breastfeeding the child to sleep. Children usually latched onto the nipple of the mother until age 2. However, in rare cases, children accepted the nipple until age 6. Whenever the child refuses the nipple, they are ready for solid food. Breastfeeding was done in public in biblical times, as well as in private.

Children cried for a variety of different reasons. The five main categories of needs in a child are food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the most important of these needs is attachment! Attachment is the main reason children cry, meaning they need YOU and YOU only. Sleep is considered an attachment need, as mothers in biblical times would co-snuggle with their child as a means of getting them to sleep. Mothers then were good at diagnosing the needs of their child.

What was the home setup in biblical times? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of a child's life, children were held constantly, either in mother's arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. When children were between ages 2-6, they ranged next to mothers, following mothers throughout the house, from room to room, not allowing mothers out of their line of sight. The worst fear of any young child - under age 6 - was their mother "going away and never coming back". This fear causes most crying in children. These formative years prepared children for the rest of their lives, including the rest of childhood. Children played freely outside for the latter years of childhood, after checking in with mom.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!