Separation anxiety: Why children cry out of nowhere (and what to do about it)

Many parents punish children when they cry out of nowhere. This is a common action parents take when their children cry out of nowhere. The argument is that children are "manipulating" or "undermining" parents. The fact of the matter is that there is always a need behind a child crying, and usually, that need is attachment-based in nature. Most children under age 6 suffer from separation anxiety.

Separation anxiety can be dealt with using the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, where children surrender into the loving arms of mothers, and mothers provide nourishment and sustenance to children. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to. any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Indeed, many Greco-Roman parents used the scourge of cords to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians collectively shunned the use of the scourge of cords.

For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup brought out raw separation anxiety in children, with children morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Mothers accommodated this fear in children by cooing while picking them up, reassuring and validating their cries with skin-on-skin mammary closeness. This all was meant to reassure the child that mom isn't going anywhere.

Children cry out of nowhere for a reason - they are deathly afraid of your demise. They need YOU to comfort and reassure them in their separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage for children under age 6. When infants cry to be held, they are expressing separation anxiety. Never ignore a crying child, of any age. Whenever a child cries, coo before picking them up, then placing the child on your bosom in mammary closeness, perhaps breastfeeding the child to sleep if the child was milk-hungry.

When children cry on their own accord, out of separation anxiety, their cry is high-pitch and deathly in nature, in a way no good mother can ignore. The idea is to reassure the child that you are going nowhere, and then keep that promise. Cooing plays a special role in helping your child feel heard and reassured. The moment you coo in front of your child, the more likely they are to fall into silent tears, where they can easily be scooped up and held in mammary closeness. This is how Early Christian mothers dealt with the cries of their children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!